Retirement Life Matters

New On the Retirement Life Matters Website

2010-01-13T12:15:00.000-08:00

New On the Retirement Life Matters Website
As someone who is moving, as well as has an aging parent surrounded with too much, Vickie Dellaquillas’ book Don’t Toss My Memories in the Trash is a treasure trove of information about how to get started, move through the daunting process to downsizing and moving.

Who doesn’t want to be healthy? Jim Donovan thinks we should take responsibility for our health. Read how he builds his own health team.

As the New Year begins, many look for a place to volunteer or donate money. Read how researchers have documented that Heifer International is changing the face of hunger in the world.

Create A Great Retirement Teleseries Begins

2010-01-12T14:25:00.000-08:00

The Internet is an amazing place, especially in retirement life. There is a wealth of information to access. Sometimes we need more.

You Are Invited to the...

"The Myths and Realities of Retirement"

with Cathy Severson
Wednesday, January 13, 2010 - 8 pm Eastern/5 pm Pacific

Learn More

One Man's Trash is JUST Trash

2010-01-06T17:13:00.000-08:00

As I mentioned before, I hate sending stuff to the dump unless I absolutely have to. Case in point. We have an old sofa we'd like to get rid of. There's a guy in our neighborhood that drives by on trash day going through looking for the good junk to take. We put the sofa out for him and he didn't want it. So, I decided to give it to the local transitional housing nonprofit. I've been calling different numbers for over a week, leaving my phone number, but no one returned my call. I was going to be in the area yesterday, so I drove by specifically to see if they can use it. Yes, they can. But, she wouldn’t give me a number to call. They have to call me. A man phoned, said he was coming today to get the sofa and then called to say he’d come get it tomorrow. I hope he comes to get it. I spend a lot of time to get rid of this couch. I don’t want to put in the dump, but I don’t have the time to research and work this hard to get rid of the things I don’t want.

Now, I’m faced with a new challenge. My father had the complete set of Horizon Magazines, a wonderfully bound set that dealt with culture, history, arts, etc. I’d love to give them to the local jail or school, but I have no idea who to contact. I called a local used bookstore to see if they wanted them. He said there wasn’t a market for them. Are there schools that could use them? Maybe. The problem is I once again don’t have the time to find a new home for them.

Clearing Clutter

2010-01-03T12:16:00.000-08:00

It had been my intention to update this blog with daily tips of preparing a home to sell and the process involved in moving as a part of retirement life. Unfortunately, it seemed like I had a choice to either write about packing or actually pack.

Having watched my eighty-three year old mother struggle with downsizing and observing neighbors who have lived in their homes in excess of thirty years, it occurred to me that people should go through this purging process whether they plan on moving or not. One week plus into this endeavor, I’ve concluded no one with half a brain would subject themselves to this unless they absolutely have to. Every room is in disarray as we sort, discard (toss or put aside to give away or sell) and pack. I've received great suggestions from Don't Toss My Memories in the Trash, by Vicky Dellaquila. The purging feels good, but we’re currently in that place where it doesn’t feel like we’ll ever be done.

Here’s my suggestion on day nine of a major move. If you’re not moving, but want to free yourself from some of your possessions, start with one thing.

I hate throwing anything in the trash, so yesterday I gathered all the old pairs of glasses and put them in an envelop to:

Lions Club International
Attention: Receiving Dept
300 W. 22nd St.
Oak Brook, IL 60523

Put all you photos in one location. Even if you don’t put them in albums, having them all together will feel great.

Give something you cherish away. This is tough. I have wonderful antique furniture pieces that we can’t take with us. My husband made a solid roll top desk that is too big to fit in our new home. The thought of giving these items away that have been a part of my life seemed impossible. Once we did a floor plan of the new house and we realized we couldn’t take them with us, I took photos and thought about what they have meant to me. Somehow, it all came into perspective. It’s just stuff. It’s stuff that I’ve loved and has been an important part of my life, but it’s still just stuff.

I’d love to hear about your move or declutter projects.

Moving to Arizona

2009-12-28T13:16:00.000-08:00

A quick trip to Prescott, Arizona the second week of December led to a significant life change. After almost thirty years in southern California, we’re moving. A house has been purchased and it’s time to begin our new retirement life.

Well, almost. It was hard to get excited about moving when there is a home full of possession that need to be sorted, discarded, sold and packed for the movers. At first, it felt overwhelming, but a random phone call started the process.

I had lots of coats, winter clothes and blankets that I wanted to give to the homeless. A call from the local rescue mission informing me they’d have a truck in the neighborhood on Dec. 30 started the process. Consolidating the items to be donated didn’t feel too overwhelming and we both jumped into the process. In a few hours, we had three huge garbage bags full of items for the homeless. There was a sense of accomplishment at completing the task. We both felt the job ahead of us was manageable. We can do this!

What Did You Talk About at Thanksgiving?

2009-12-01T10:51:00.000-08:00

Recently, I heard a story about a newly retired woman exclaiming to her financial planner that completing a will was not only morbid, but something to do when you were ‘old.” It is an important step in creating a satisfying retirement life.

I don’t know of anyone who is excited about estate planning (except lawyers, of course). Similar to getting a colonoscopy, it needs to be done.

Estate planning isn’t just for you. It’s for the people you care about. It forces you to look at the final phase of your life. While that can be scary, it can also be very liberating. It is also lets you control your life and your legacy.

My mother doesn’t have an up-to-date will. A number of years ago, we encouraged her to get a trust, but she didn’t understand it and ultimately refused to sign the papers. She now has a new will, but so far hasn’t gotten it notarized. I think she believes that signing the will eliminates her choices. In reality, not signing the will passes control to the state and hospitals that don’t know her and don’t care about following her wishes.

Estate planning can be confusing. There are a lot of decisions to make. Attorneys Michael and Danielle Mayoras have written a great book, Trials and Heirs to help you through the process. By using stories of the rich and celebrated, they describe what can happen if you don’t plan adequately. In addition, they offer easy to understand information to help you learn about estate planning for you and your family.

One of the most confusing aspects of estate planning is whether or not you need a living trust. Attorney Michael Pancheri from The Living Trust Network contributed a six-part series about the Reasons for a Living Trust.

Along with planning all the wonderful things you want to do with your retirement, take the time to talk to an attorney and plan for the end of your life. You’ll be glad you did.

New on the RLM Website

2009-11-05T11:03:00.000-08:00

There are some wonderful things happening on the Retirement Life Matters website.

We recently returned from a Mediterranean Cruise. Without a doubt Mediterranean Cruises was the most help in preparing for time onshore.

Have you had to overcome obstacles in your life? Author Lynne Klippel share tales of tragedy and redemption in her new book Overcomers, Inc: True Stories of Hope, Courage and Inspiration.

I was born and raised in Colorado. My son is named Zebulon after the man who discovered Pike’s Peak. It’s no surprise that Colorado Springs has become a top retirement destination.

Nutrition Tips for Retirement Life

2009-11-04T06:23:00.000-08:00

As we get older and enter retirement life, the idea of taking better care of our body takes on a whole new meaning. I finally occurred to me that sticking around in this life form meant keeping the mode of transportation healthy.

I was recently informed that my LDL (bad) cholesterol was way too high. Clearly, my husband's wonderful French cooking needs to be modified.

My first task was to eliminate chocolate. I love milky chocolate and not the purer chocolate that is the preference of nutritionists. The quest for a sweet, but more healthful alternative is in play.

If you looking for a simple, but comprehensive list of nutritional tips you can implement, this is it. The first suggestion I'm going to implement is drinking a glass of water before I eat. I've always been a fast eater and even if I try, I'm still the first one with an empty plate. A bad habit from childhood is going back for a bit of seconds. Maybe the glass of water will help me. Take a look and let me know which tip you're going to try.

Understanding the Healthcare Crisis

2009-10-26T13:24:00.000-07:00

There aren’t too many topics more important to retirement life currently than the healthcare debate. As I was preparing to write about this topic, it occurred to me that much of the volatility we saw last summer was the fear people had of losing what they had. While we may be saddened at the stories about people losing their homes because of medical bills or not being insured, we hold more tightly onto our own benefits, afraid of what we might have to sacrifice in order to help someone else. That tells me how important it is for the debate to continue. Wouldn’t it be tragic to have a ‘civil war’ between those who have coverage and those who don’t?

Not offering solutions to the problems, I want to make some two suggestions about understanding the situation better. Much of the passion concerning the debate has centered on the socialization of healthcare in this country. T.R. Reid, author of The Healing of America: A Global Quest for Better, Cheaper, and Fairer Health Care provides excellent information about healthcare in other parts of the world. He also produced a one-hour show, which you can view online about healthcare in six other countries. His report isn’t as much as an indictment on the system in the US, but a true understanding of the differences with other healthcare systems. He makes sure to point out the challenges that other countries face, without minimizes the problems in the US.

Last week, I listened to two one-hour segments of This American Life concerning the healthcare debate. More is Less and Someone Else’s Money provide a comprehensive summary of the healthcare system in the US. One aspect I’ve been curious is why health insurance is tied to employment. The show provides a history of medicine in the US since the beginning of the twentieth century that is interesting. The show also demonstrates the challenges we all face in changing the system and that no one entity, such as insurance is to blame. I’ll be the first to admit I have a bias in this debate. I thought both the Frontline show and the This American Life segments were effective in coming from a perspective of information and were not pushing a political agenda.

Is there life following being downsized after 50?

2009-09-09T09:51:00.000-07:00

Many are facing retirement life after being downsized. Often dreams and expectations are altered from the experience.

The first time I encountered a group of the over 50 set following a downsizing was after the collapse of Russia. I was still working on my masters degree in career counseling when I was asked to make presentation to a group of laid off engineers from the aerospace industry.

I wasn’t prepared for what I saw. These weren’t men who had just lost their jobs. They had lost their sense of self, as well as a way to earn a living. Their sense of value as human beings had vanished along with their work.

You can imagine my shock when I faced that exact situation five years later myself. With a partner, we had created an amazing career center from scratch. For me, it was the culmination of a lifetime of effort and work. I’ll never forget the day she said, “Cathy, I don’t want to do this any more.” I was absolutely destroyed.

Author, marketing executive and boomer expert, Carol Orsborn recently shared about her own downsizing that resulted in her writing the book The Year I Saved My (downsized) Soul: A Boomer Woman’s Search for Meaning…and a Job.

In those blackest moments, Carol writes, “When you give up the illusion of control, it’s true that you can’t always stop bad things from happening. But you can’t stop good things from happening, either.”

After I left the career center, for the first time in my life, I couldn’t find a job and fell into a deep sorrow that lasted almost two years. I refer to this as the time I lost my soul.

Ultimately, I learned I was solely responsible for my own happiness. The roles I had; mother, business woman, and wife were ways of expressing me, but they weren’t my identity.

There is a saying that the things that don’t hurt us make us stronger. Like Carol and many others, now I look back on the time in the wilderness as a gift. It led me to this work, painting and a psychological and spiritual health I never would have achieved without it.

New on the RLM Website

2009-08-28T15:05:00.000-07:00

Check out these new articles on the Retirement Life Matters website.

I don’t know anyone over 50 who doesn’t have concerns about memory. LifelongLearning expert Nancy Merz Nordstrom discusses brain research and fun for your brain.

If you’re still thinking about ways to earn extra income, Stan Spector suggests starting a retirement business to help all the stressed out people who just don’t have enough time.

Charlottesville, Virginia home to Thomas Jefferson is an ideal place to retire, according to expert Warren Bland.

Share my journey as I visit the Hopi nation in NE Arizona.

Would You Have Lunch with a Python?

2009-08-26T08:03:00.000-07:00

We have visions about the adventures we’re going to have in our retirement life. There are place to go, people to meet and things to do.

When the day actually arises, it’s easy to let fears and phobias take over, so the challenges and opportunities begin to diminish. There’s always the fear about money. And then there are the concerns about our health – you know we’re not young anymore. It becomes very easy for the walls of options to close around us.

One of my favorite quotes is from author Barbara Sher in It’s Only Too Late if You Don’t Start Now, “Why is it when midlifers talk of fulfilling their lifelong dreams before they’re too old to do them, they’re never talking about dreams like publishing a book or singing at the Met?”

Now is the time to dust off some of those old dreams you’ve shelved because you needed to earn a living and raise a family. What are the adventures you want to have? The biggest obstacle you have is you.

If you’ve started the list of the things you’d love to do, but… I’d like to introduce you to Warren Stortroen. A mild mannered insurance man for his professional career, he has now reached notoriety for having gone on 57 Earthwatch expeditions since retiring twelve years ago.

Once you read about Warren, you’ll want to get out there and do something outside of your comfort zone.

French Cooking and Retirement Life

2009-08-18T12:07:00.000-07:00

So, what do French cooking and retirement life have in common?

My husband and I went to see Julie and Julia last Friday night. This is the perfectly poached egg he presented me with on Saturday morning.

What does my husband share with Julia Child? They both value the concept of ‘mastery.’

My husband approaches French cooking with the same methodical precision he approaches building his plane. If it calls for a quart of whipping cream, then off to the store he goes for supplies.

He hurt his leg pushing carts at the grocery store on Saturday. We were both afraid he'd torn a tendon, so I wanted him to stay off his leg.

"I'll cook dinner, " I declared.

I was completely lost. I didn't know where to start. We ended up pulling some frozen crabcakes from the freezer. I totally tanked.

The good news. The delicious smells of French cooking permeate my house with Julia’s signature Boeuf Bourguignon simmering on the stove.

The leg is healing and he's back to cooking.

What Stands in the Way of Your Retirement Dreams?

2009-08-05T16:38:00.000-07:00

When I knew we were going to travel to Arizona recently, I contacted RLM Experts, Billy and Akaisha Kaderli to see if we might meet and have breakfast. One of the highlights of my job is meeting the amazing people who are interested in Retirement Life Matters. Billy and Akaisha exemplify the new retirement spirit.

Entrepreneurs’ and restaurant owners, they found themselves with a beautiful home and successful careers, but working up to eighty hours a week with little joy in their lives. They did what many fantasize. They walked away from it all. They retired early and started to live life.

The number one stumbling block people give for not living their dreams is finances. Not only do Billy and Akaisha travel around the world, often staying in a location for months at a time, but they do it on a meager income. They have chosen to live a frugal lifestyle exemplified with the recent sale of their only vehicle.

There’s a saying that most of us go to the grave with our dreams still inside of us. Entering into retirement is an occasion to revisit, recapture and establish dreams for the next stage of life. When you talk to people years before they plan on retiring they will share visions of travel, learning new skills, connecting with others and making a difference. After retirement, many people feel lost, unfocused and fearful about living the life of their dreams.

Billy and Akasha Kaderli model a retirement that, while frugal is full and complete with worldly travels, rich in experience and relationships.

Work for Those Over 50 – What’s the True Story?

2009-08-01T17:08:00.000-07:00

As the boomer generation creeps into retirement life, an interesting phenomenon is starting to emerge. More workers, by choice and otherwise are going to continue to work. While this may appear depressing at first glance, further investigation offers additional insight.

The headline read “Career Changers After Age 50 Are Permanently Worse Off.” In a well crafted article, the author sited numerous statistics about older workers and the challenges they face in getting work after 50.

In fact, studies consistently show that workers who are laid off at mid-life have a difficult finding another job that pays the same or better. In general, people who left a job involuntarily, earn two-thirds what they did in their previous job.

Employees who left a job voluntarily fare much better. People who leave a job on their own earned either the same or more in subsequent positions.

The article continued to share very important information about the mature worker not first apparent by the headline. While workers who change jobs at mid-life do struggle to maintain the pay they had earned, they are much happier in their new work and they like their new jobs better. In fact, ninety-one percent reported they liked their new job, even if they earned less money.

“They are more satisfied and they report less stress because it appears that they have more control over what they are doing and they certainly don’t have a lot of people telling them what to do,” says Susan Reinhard, senior vice president of the AARP Public Policy Institute. In addition to being happy in their work, nearly two-thirds entered into new positions or new industries.

Work is going to continue to be an important aspect of retirement. That doesn’t mean it’s an indictment to a less fulfilling or rewarding third age. Not only providing income, work presents an opportunity to stay connected, provide structure and meaning in life.

Retirement Life Decisions

2009-07-27T07:23:00.000-07:00

New retirement life often brings decisions. Where are we going to live? What are we going to do? How are we going to pay for it? How does it integrate into a balanced and complete lifestyle?

My husband and I are currently in Arizona. We spent the weekend in Phoenix with our grandchildren. They recently moved into a new house their parents purchased. For the first time, we’re considering not only moving to the desert, but also moving to the location of our grandchildren. On top of that, we’re researching an adult only community.

The first thing I have to say is be careful what you declare you’ll never do. I often laugh at my husband who said he’d never move to California and has spent the last 27 years here.

Neither one of us are big desert people. I never imagined I would consider a retirement in Arizona.

In addition, I often cluck at people who move to be close to their grandchildren. I advise you can’t create a fulfilling life solely around your family and grandchildren.

Finally, I’ve had grave misgivings about moving into an adult community. I always considered them to be golden prisons, isolated from the real world, devoted to a senior life of indulgence.

Stay posted as we explore retirement life doing all the things you said you wouldn’t do.

Life Transitions, Out of Work - Where to Begin

2009-07-23T14:12:00.000-07:00

Just want you to know I'm being interviewed by Emily Woodman-Nance on radio on Friday. Millions of people are in transition and not sure what to do next. We're going to discuss the first step to any change involves looking inward. We'll offer specific advice on how to start the process. Please tune in.

There are four ways that people can listen to the show on Friday, July 24, 2009 from 9:00 - 10:00 am:

· Internet Stream
http://www.kuci.org/kuci-flash.html
If problems occur go to www.kuci.org to listen
· 88.9 FM - Orange County area
· iTunes/Radio/public.kuci
· http://www.kuci.org/iphone/

Your Ideal Day

2009-07-21T08:59:00.000-07:00

I was intrigued with the post at The Boomer Chronicles describing our ideal day and how that relates to an ideal retirement life. An ideal day is special that most often involves enjoying food, friends and a favorite activity.

My ideal day:

I thoroughly enjoy getting up with sun, drinking a cup of coffee listening to the birds as they awake to a new day.

My ideal day would involve a leisurely lunch with friends at a quiet outdoor cafe overlooking a pond or stream.

The day would include creating a masterful painting and spending time with my friends at the studio laughing and talking about sex.

It might also include a trip to a great gallery or museum.

The evening would be spent at a secluded B & B overlooking a beach or in the woods, a romantic dinner for two and a special night with the man I love.

My ideal day would be spent enjoying my grandchildren.

New On the RLM Website

2009-07-17T13:20:00.000-07:00

As baby boomers start the transition into retirement life, this diversified group shares one thing-the desire for experience. Contrary to popular opinion, this isn't a homogenous group, but one that is varied and complex. The desire to make the most of life is feeling most boomers share

In recent weeks, we’ve been discussing small business you can start in retirement. Meet Judy Jurisich who took the ‘retirement’ business to a whole new level by creating the New Orleans Cooking Experience.

As baby boomers reach retirement age, they want to create their own change in the world. They want to make a positive difference. One of the most successful volunteer organizations is Earthwatch which has programs on all the continents.

Warren Bland continues his journey through great retirement communities with a look at Bloomington, Indiana.

Extend Your Retirement Life

2009-07-15T06:43:00.000-07:00

How long would you like to live? You can extend your retirement life in some amazingly simple ways according to research. Did you know that laughing daily can extend your life by 8.8 years. Get out the old Laurel and Hardy movies.

There are things you can't control, such as being born more recently. Young people are expected to live 5 years more than people born 25 years ago. Being born a woman is always better for living longer. Where you actually live can affect how long you live.

There are things you can do. You know that not smoking and have a lifetime fitness regiment will extend your life. Did you know how much you sleep and good dental hygiene also contributes to your extended life.

The question might be whether or not you wan to live to 100. But, it's fun to see how what you can do to improve your odds.

Has your life taken a U-Turn?

2009-07-14T11:17:00.000-07:00

Every day we hear stories and encounter people whose lives aren’t what they expected. This is especially true with retirement life Recently, I’ve met people who were ‘forced’ to retire two years too early. Many people who are retired have been compelled to look for work as they watch their savings and investments tumble.

Throughout your life, you’ve met with challenges, tragedies and opportunities. They don’t go away as we get older. I heard recently about a friend whose young adult child drowned. I think we make a pact with God, or the universe if you prefer. We say that we’re going to make every intention of living a good life, of being a good person. We’ll work hard and be reasonably kind to those we meet along the way. In exchange, nothing horrible is going to happen to us. It doesn’t happen that way. As Harold Kushner wrote many years ago, bad things do indeed happen to good people.

It was a pleasure to recently talk to author and psychologist Nancy Irwin, who has compiled forty stories about people whose lives took a U-Turn as they reached the midpoint. Like Nancy, who returned to school at age 42 to become a psychologist, many of the stories are dominated by personal choices. Other stories involved people who were assaulted with life-altering situations. Read about Facing You Turns.

As Nancy declares, change is inevitable; the key is how we deal with it. As I have researched and now live with it, retirement is one of the most significant transitions we face in our lives.

The opportunity for personal growth, new challenges, and experiences is available around every corner as you transition into retirement, regardless of your financial situation. You bring with you many Tools to ensure your success.

A primary goal of Retirement Life Matters is to help you create a satisfying life, regardless of the circumstances you experience.

New On the Retirement Life Matters Website

2009-07-11T11:39:00.000-07:00

Great new articles appear at the Retirment Life Matters website this week. Take a look.

Baby boomers want to find balance in retirement. A life out of whack has led them to want to have it all without feeling out of control. Nancy Merz Nordstrom discusses Creating Balance in our After-50 Years

Learn how taking out the trash as a youngster affected your retirement in Retirement Money and Why There is Never Enough

Stan Spector continues his series with a suggestion you specialize your retirement business.

Warren Bland continues his quest for the perfect retirement community with a review of Bellingham, Washington.

Do You Resist Your Retirement Life Dreams?

2009-07-09T05:44:00.000-07:00

Retirement life is a time to explore new options, have new experiences, take on challenges and yet so many people get stuck. Why?

A client left a message on my phone this week. She had taken my retirement workshop and had become interested in finding a meaningful part time job. She had not completed her homework assignment and concluded the phone message with, “Perhaps I don’t really want to do this?”

Maybe.

A few weeks ago, I met with my business partner for Retirement Life Matters. I ranted and railed about how I didn’t have enough time, especially to work on completing the Retirement Life Success Kit. In his irritatingly calm voice, he replied, “Do what you have to do, Cathy.”

So I set aside time- one hour a day- to work on the book, yet still I struggle. When I sit down to begin each of these daily sessions, my mind goes blank. I feel overwhelmed and out of sorts.

What is the problem with my client, with myself?

People work their whole lives to reach retirement. “Now is the time I finally get to do what I want to do,” they declare. Sure, people might take a few trips. But do they push the boundaries and dream grand dreams? Or do they feel stuck?

Why do we struggle to do the things we love? Why do we, at times, resist doing the things we’re passionate about?

Several years ago, I read an essay about resistance, written by Tama Kieves. I pulled it out yesterday, read it, made a copy of it and put it next to my computer monitor. If you struggle with resistance at doing what you love, take a look at The Only Road to Everything You Want

Retirement Health: You ARE What you Eat

2009-07-07T11:47:00.000-07:00

A key component of a happy retirement life is being healthy. Obviously, anyone can be hit with an ailment at anytime. With that said, research is more conclusive that we have control over our retirement health.

There was a fascinating story on ABC Nightly News last night. A reporter and producer saw the immediate effects of consuming a five thousand calorie meal full of saturated fat. While most seniors don’t consume a vast amount of food at one sitting, the piece clearly demonstrated the toll the body takes from poor eating.

As quickly as you can hurt your body, you can equally improve it. There are Four simple Changes That Can Save Your Life. Unfortunately, many people don’t do them.

Whether you like it or not, a key to a healthy retirement life is a commitment to Lifetime Fitness.

I smoked for almost thirty years. While I can’t ever remove all the damage smoking did, a conscious attempt at eating well and get exercise is helping me live a longer and happier life. It can work for you also.

The Best Retirement Life Includes Travel for Boomers

2009-07-06T06:51:00.000-07:00

Travel remains the number one goal for retirement life. With such a vast world, limited financial resources, we're all trying to maximize our travel dollars. Check out travel expert Donna Hull's blog, 'My Itchy Travel Feet.' Geared specifically to baby boomers, Donna shares information about the experience of travel, as well as destinations.

No longer content to travel "If It's Tuesday, This Must be Belgium" style, baby boomers want to experience a locations' culture, people and geography.

Follow Donna as she explores locales both near and far. She provides great tips for your own travel plans, but also a way to journey vicariously.

Retirement Life and Thai Green Curry Chicken for Dinner

2009-07-03T15:17:00.000-07:00

Retirement life takes on new rhythms and practices. As I've mentioned before, I continue to work, since my husband retired. To a certain degree, I work more than ever. My husband was always a good cook, but very rarely prepared meals beyond taking over the grill.

A year before retiring, he became intrigued with smoking food (don't even email me about the carbon footprint). That has waned since retirement.

He has taken over cooking most of the evening meals. At first we struggled because he likes things hotter (spicier) than me. He tries very hard to please me and has recently ventured into more adventurous meals.

This week he made Thai Green Curry Chicken. He must have spent $100 on ingredients, since I've never made a Thai meal in my life. It took him two days and he got every pot in the house dirty. On top of that, he does his own dishes. Am I lucky or what?

I'm telling you this for two reasons. The first reason is to gush about the wonderful new housemate I've acquired in the last six months. More importantly, neither of us could have anticipated this new passion. We don't know how long it's going to last or where it's going to go.

I help people plan their retirement life. A plan is a guide, but not an absolute dictation for the future. You know you're retirement is successful when you have the time, money and opportunity to explore new interests and challenges.

It's fun to see him experiment. AND, it's fun not to have to cook dinner every evening.

New on the Retirement Life Matters Website

2009-07-01T15:17:00.000-07:00

One of the goals of Retirement Life Matters is to form a community of people to provide and receive support as they transition through the next phase of life. We’re beta testing the Member Registration (it’s free). You don’t have to be retired to join. A willingness to be part of this community is all that’s needed. I’m looking for brave souls to take a few minutes to fill out the form. Feel free to email me with comments, problems or suggestions.

Family will always be the center for many baby boomers. How to help adult children is always a concern.

Stan Spector continues his series about starting a business based on your hobby. Warren Bland continues his quest for the perfect retirement location with a review of Austin, Texas.

Where do You Belong After Retirement?

2009-06-30T16:22:00.000-07:00

An important aspect of retirement life is feeling connected. It's important to believe you belong.
I was very concerned about my husband’s transition to retirement. He had worked the nightshift most of his adult life. Because of his schedule, we never developed a social circle of friends. Outside of work and family, he didn’t have a place where he had a sense of belonging. People often don’t realize the importance of being connected, feeling you belong.

For most of the history of mankind, a sense of belonging came from your clan and geographic community. As baby boomers who grew up in the suburbs, much of a sense community based on where we lived was lost. Many of us don’t even know our next door neighbors, let alone feel a sense of connection to them.

As baby boomers became adults, work replaced school as a place to belong. For many, a sense of community is formed by the company you work. Or it may come from camaraderie of a particular profession. For many baby boomers, work fulfills many needs beyond just a paycheck.

For people who do not have a large family, strong church ties or other social group they belong, retirement can be very isolating. It can be a challenge for people to find new ways to connect.

For many, finding a sense of belonging will be based on locating a community based on your interests and passions. I’ve been painting for twelve years. I paint at a studio twice a month. It forces me to paint, no matter how busy I am, but more importantly, it gives me an opportunity to be with my friends, to feel connected others. My painting buddies from my tribe. This is a place where I feel accepted.

My husband is building a plane in our garage. Every day, the garage door goes up. People now stop by throughout the week, checking out the plane and talking about flying. A pilot, who lives up the street, invited my husband to go to the airfield recently. The neighbor introduced my husband to the other pilots. He is finding a new community to belong.

Finding a retirement activity is a way to stay challenged. It also is important as a way to stay connected. Finding a place to belong is an important ingredient to creating a fulfilling retirement.

Finding Love for the Boomers Over 50

2009-06-29T15:20:00.000-07:00

When I was researching web sites about retirement life, I concluded that the boomers are just as obsessed with love and sex now, as they were forty years ago.

With the divorce rate still high, many women over 50 are interested in senior dating. The Dating Goddess found herself single at 48. She started dating eighteen months later and has been writing about it ever since. While an excellent writer, she's the 'every woman' self described as attractive but overweight who doesn't match the description of what men say they are looking for.

Dubbed the Dating Goddess by her friends she offers solid advice with a touch of humor and real heart.

When asked what are the mistakes women over 50 make when they start dating, she replied:

They either shoot too high or too low. They shoot too high by having grandiose expectations that their next mate will meet all 100 of their criteria, rather than looking for someone who matches their values and who is attractive to them.

By shooting too low they accept selfish, immature behaviors out of loneliness. They are so desperate to have someone to go to the movies with or cuddle with, they accept loutish behaviors.

You can read the full article at the retirement life matters website.

Wanting love doesn't change as we grow older. Finding help and support along the way is great for anyone.

Senior Health, Senior Diet and Lemons

2009-06-25T16:07:00.000-07:00

Eating changes as we get older. I’m beginning to believe that many of our health issues in retirement life could be minimized with a shift in diet. Trust me, I’m not there yet, but I try to be more conscious of what I eat.

Case in point. I’ve had a problem recently with heartburn and acid build-up in my digestive system. This is going to sound counterintuitive, but it was suggested I eat more acid. What? I told my husband and he started eating lemons. Low and behold, his heartburn decreased significantly.

I love lemons. When we walk every morning, we pass lemon trees in people’s yards. Many months ago, I knocked on the door of a neighbor and asked if we could pick her lemons. The lady was delighted and we’ve been helping ourselves ever since.

My husband likes to peel the lemon and eat it raw. I can’t do that, but started putting squeezed lemon in my juice drink every morning. I put ½ lemon in the drink. Guess what? I have less heartburn.

This is obviously not going to change senior health by itself, but I’m intrigued. In researching the lemon, I found it acts as a tonic to the liver, stimulating the production of bile to help digest food if taken in the morning. It is high in vitamin C and can relieve symptoms of asthma, and sore throat. It my also help with arthritis and rheumatism because it flushes toxins from the body. I have asthma and I certainly won’t stop taking my medication because I’m consuming more lemon. Please enlist the aid of your healthcare professional before changing medication. I am finding that eating a more natural and healthy diet helps me feel better.

I want to include lemon in more recipes, but I’m having a hard time finding lemon recipes that don’t include a lot of sugar, milk products or eggs. Does anyone have interesting lemon dishes that are also great for a senior diet?

Note: This is a painting I did of a lemon grove.

Helping Your Community, Retirement Best

2009-06-24T13:19:00.000-07:00

The last few months have been bogged down with conversations about people not being able to retire. Or those who have retired, being are forced to go back to work. Certainly this blog is not to minimize the impact and fear people are feeling in their lives. But, there are opportunities to explore in a new retirement life.

A lady came to me last week wanting to return to work to supplement her diminished funds. She is looking for work where she believes she's making a contribution. She wants to make a difference. Many retirees need to suppliment their retirement income, but also want to do good in the world.

For people who want to start a business, many are exploring Social Enterprise, the quest to both make money and do good. This is an excellent PowerPoint to learn more, from the Social Enterprise Alliance. http://ping.fm/iHbnU

I first learned about David Mills through the blogroll at Boomer Chronicles. David wrote the book 10,000 Days: A Call to Arms for the Baby Boom Generation which he discussed with us recently.

Boomers are exploring ways of doing well and doing good or just plane make the world a better place to live.

Clear The Clutter to Improve Your Retirement

2009-06-23T12:16:00.000-07:00

You’ll never guess what my retired husband is doing as I sit down to write this blog. He’s been taking all the loose change we have and is putting it in the paper wrappers to take to the bank. He saves most of his change and we decided years ago to use the money for our grandchildren’s college fund. Of course, when he was working he never had time to wrap it. He also saves aluminum cans and uses the recycle money for the college fund. Yesterday, he took the cans to be recycled and in the process, got motivated to wrap coins. An interesting way to spend your retirement life.

A few years ago, I asked two recently retired friends what they were doing in their retirement. Because I saw both of them in a matter of weeks, I was surprised when they each responded, “Cleaning out closets.”

My first responding thought was, “You’ve got to be kidding me?” While I like a clutter free house as much as the next person, I thought cleaning closets was a silly retirement goal.

While it may not make a great retirement goal, there is a cathartic benefit to clearing the clutter that has grown over the years. Many of us have lived in our homes for a long time. No matter how hard you try, the garbage always comes in at a faster rate than it goes out.

Home takes on a new meaning when you retire. Even the most extroverted person spends more time at the house.

If you’re married, it’s important for both of you have a separate space to claim your own. For many couples, that requires cleaning out a garage or a spare room.

Finally, there is a wonderful feeling that comes from getting organized. We all have papers, closets, photos, books, junk drawers and spare rooms turned into storage space that hang around like an albatross needing our attention.

Healthcare Costs for the Over 50 Looking for Work

2009-06-22T15:16:00.000-07:00

We've all heard the stories that one of the reasons older workers don't get hired is because of their higher healthcare costs. Did you know that's a complete myth?

Think about it. The people who spend more time seeing doctors are families with young children. Unless you have a serious ailment, most people in over 50 and into their sixties don't go to the doctor nearly has much as people with young children. My husband and I both get our yearly physicals and that's the only time we see a doctor.

Older people, in their seventies and beyond may have more healthcare costs. If you're looking for a job, don't hesitate to bring up that you are healthy, your children are no longer falling out of trees, so healthcare costs for you may be less than for a younger family.

Retirement Life, Boomer Generation and Lifelong Learning

2009-06-17T13:55:00.000-07:00

As a generation who grow up during an educational revolution where college was available to most anyone who wanted to go, lifelong learning is at the very fiber of the boomer experience. Retirement life won’t diminish the quest to learn, grow and discover.

When I completed graduated school, I was eager to learn just for the fun of it. After seven (okay, I took the slow route) years to get my degree, I wanted to learn without the pressure of papers and exams. I signed up for a philosophy class at the local community college. Even though I took the class as pass/fail, it was hard. I didn’t take the exams, but if I was going to learn anything, I needed to read all of the books and complete the written assignments. I also took a creative writing class before I gave up on the community college to explore other options for lifelong learning.

I’ve had the honor of engaging Nancy Merz Nordstrom in an exchange recently. Author, consultant, and speaker, Nancy Merz Nordstrom is an expert on the concept, benefits and opportunities of lifelong learning for older adults, and how keeping minds challenged can enrich and enhance our After-50 years. Returning to school at age 51, after the unexpected death of her first husband, she became aware of the opportunities and challenges facing older adults, and has dedicated herself to the belief that lifelong learning is both empowering and life-affirming, regardless of age.
Using her book, "Learning Later, Living Greater: the Secret for Making the Most of Your After-50 Years," Nancy now gives customized presentations, workshops and courses designed to help older adults develop fulfilling later lives. She also directs the Elderhostel Institute Network, North America’s largest educational network for older adults.

Southern California is often considered an intellectual wasteland, but I’m lucky to have two organizations dedicated to senior learning. Osher provides more academic classes taught by professors, while OASIS offers more leisure types of learning. Almost every community has a senior center with classes in everything from dance to fine arts to political awareness.

In addition to schools found locally, there is an abundance of destination lifelong learning centers found around the country. We’re in the process of researching many of them and will share information in the upcoming weeks.

Whether it’s taking classes online, locally or combining travel with learning, new retirees are finding an infinite variety of ways to expand mentally, physically and spiritually.

Retired Volunteers Help Rebuild Cedar Rapids

2009-06-12T08:44:00.000-07:00

Recent news articles have discussed retired electricians and plumbers who are volunteering their time to rebuild Cedar Rapids after the devastating flood of last year. This is a demonstration of retirement life at its best.

While every story needs an angle, I was intrigued NBC Nightly News took the stance of “wouldn’t you rather be fishing instead of volunteering your time?” This clearly shows a dated and most likely mythical view of retirement.

While it’s probably true these gentlemen love fishing and golf, it fails to acknowledge that fishing and golf alone make for very sad existence.

My guess is these men loved dusting off their expertise and feeling like mentors to their community. While they may not want to go back to this work on a regular basis, retirees want to feel like they are connected. Being a member of a larger community is an important aspect of that. People like challenges in their lives. What greater challenge can there be than rebuilding a community after a disaster. Finally, people of all ages want to know their lives have meaning. It’s important to have a reason to get up in the morning; to have a sense of purpose.

This story demonstrates how important it is for us to redefine retirement. No longer a stopping place, the new retirement should be a starting point for a creating and fulfilling new dreams and a bigger vision for life.

Expore the New Retirement

2009-06-10T09:33:00.000-07:00

Despite the drop in home values, Warren Bland still contends ‘there’s gold in them there homes’ in his article Times are tough: How Can I Retire Now?

While not wanting people to invest their life savings, retirees should consider a small part time business. Stan Spector, business broker discusses the Mini Business for Retirees.

Change and Transition explores specific factors that can affect a successful move into retirement.

Somewhat off topic, but not necessarily, Kat and Curtis Knecht discuss Expectation or Intention. While the article is specifically about relationships, understanding our own expectation about retirement can have a great impact on our satisfaction.

Am I Crazy to Retire Now?

2009-06-09T09:52:00.000-07:00

Recently, a friend voiced the concern of many. “Am I crazy to think about retiring now?”

With the current economic upheaval, it’s been well documented many baby boomers are going to change their retirement plans.

I’m going to suggest the recession provides an opportunity to reinvent the retirement of the future.

Ken Dychtwald, author of Age Power aptly stated, "Today's retirees are social guinea pigs. We are shifting away from the model of learning for 20 years, working like a mad dog for 40, and goofing around for 20. What is evolving is some new blend between learning, working and leisure."

Retirement in the future will consist of more people working. But, it doesn’t have to be drudgery. Retirement in the 21st Century provides an opportunity to push back boundaries, explore new options and yes, find new ways of earning income.

In a recent interview, when asked why he doesn’t hang it all up because he had earned the right, Norman Lear replied, “Yes, I’ve earned the right to do what I want to do. What I want to do is wake up every morning to do something that I think matters.”

What have you earned the right to do?

New on Retirement Life Website

2009-06-03T05:10:00.000-07:00

New on the RLM Website

As you know, travel remains the number one goal of new retirees. Micha Berman shares his experience working on a cruise ship. Not only can you learn about life on a cruise ship, but did you know that there are opportunities for retirees to find work on cruise liners?

My friend Marty Kaplan, director of the Osher Learning Institute at CSU Channel Island shares the Lifestyle Changes that accompany aging.

Understanding all of the financial issues can be overwhelming. Colleen King explains the difference between Term and Whole Life Insurance

Speaking of financial issues, many of us have experienced increased stress over what is going on in the world. Jeff Gero explains How to Survive These Stressful Times.

We’re always looking for new articles. Do you have information or an experience you’d like to share with the Retirement Life Community? Drop me a note.

Lessons From Susan Boyle on Retirement Living

2009-06-02T11:24:00.000-07:00

Along with everyone else on the planet, I’ve been captivated by the saga of Susan Boyle. She epitomizes the story of the ugly duckling who sings like the beautiful swan. While the tale, at the time of this writing, seems to have ended on a bittersweet note, there are lessons we can learn that apply to achieving a successful retirement.

As the story has unfolded, it was revealed that Susan has spent her life being painfully shy. On her mother’s deathbed, she evidently promised to try to get on television.

Regardless of what transpired afterwards, Susan confronted her biggest fear and entered the talent show. How many of us have lived in our little private world and failed to pursue the big dream because it would mean also taking a huge risk?

Susan also shows the value of perseverance. There is tape of Susan as a young woman singing at a local Scottish pub. She never gave up on her passion. How many of us have said the passion wasn’t worth the heartache or effort?

No matter the outcome, Susan is going to be able to look at this experience, knowing she stepped up to the plate, took a risk, stood for a moment in her glory and was the very best she could be. That’s a lesson we can all learn from.

Where in the World Have You Been?

2009-05-29T05:39:00.000-07:00

Even in tough economic times, travel remains the number one dream activity for retirees.

While many are curbing their travel plans, staying closer to home, for example, the desire to see the world still exists. The newly retired and not so newly retired are discovering creative ways to travel without having it break the bank.

I stumbled across this site through Twitter and love the idea of tracking and sharing where I've been. My only complaint is I wish they broke the US into individual states. Here's where I've been http://tinyurl.com/knu7bp. Create your own map at http://www.29travels.com/

What's in a Retirement Home?

2009-05-28T07:20:00.000-07:00

The concept of home takes on a completely new meaning in retirement. In fact, home is considered on of the foundation elements, along with health and finances.

My husband and I remodeled our home almost ten years ago with the intention of making it our retirement home. Now, ‘retirement California’ may not make sense.

We’re not alone in our thinking. As people look forward to retirement, they take a special interest in where they want to live. For many, their retirement residence is a key factor in their plan for retirement.

Like many, I’d like to explore the possibility of retiring abroad. But, I’m not sure I’d be willing to totally give up a residence in the states.

There’s also a part of me that would love to be a vagabond for a year or two and not have to worry about a home.

When I think about living on the road, or retiring overseas, I always come back to the question of what would we do with the cats?

Right now, the primary question is what do we want in our new home? Not just the home, but what factors determine the community and surrounding area? These are all questions to consider.

Research shows very few people actually move to a new retirement location. I'd like to know if it's something you are considering and what are the factors that are important to you?

Retirement or College for the Kids

2009-05-21T17:43:00.000-07:00

Recently, I read a lot about how parents are having to choose between retirement and sending their children to college. Or, saying they’re not going to get to college at all because of a lack of funds. I’m here to say, “Hogwash!”

This is a ‘back in my day story,’ but I think it is worth telling.

I completed my first year of college at a local community college before I made some stupid and life altering decisions. Over the next three years, I got married, pregnant and divorced, so by the time I was twenty-two I was a single parent. It was a difficult time in my life, but the one good thing that came out of it, besides my daughter, was the decision to complete my education. It took another six years to get my bachelor degree. I paid for it all myself, worked went to school and raised my daughter. I will admit, I lived with my parents for a few years and they help tremendously by taking care of her.

As I look back over my life, I regret not having the college experience of living in a dorm on a college campus, or of going to football games. If you want the college experience, it’s going to cost you. And yes, I know, the cost of college has gone up. But, if you want an education, you can get a college degree. It may take you longer. That’s a decision, I have never regretted.

Senior Health

2009-05-21T10:52:00.001-07:00

I did something for myself today. No, not the usual indulgence of chocolates or flowers. I actually did something important. At first, I was reluctant to discuss it, because it comes under the heading that is traditionally considered unmentionable. Life over 50 gets complicated and sometimes we need to discuss unpleasant things.

I had a colonoscopy this morning. The reason I decided to discuss it is many people don’t have the procedure. I’m lucky I have insurance and quite probably wouldn’t have had it done without it. I’m talking to the people who have insurance or can otherwise afford it, but elect not to do the procedure. It’s inconvenient. It’s a bit uncomfortable and it occurs in the part of the body most of us would like to ignore.

That’s the main reason I decided to write about it. Denial can be wonderful thing. Well, sometimes. Rarely. Nope, now that I think about it, I don’t know that denial is a good thing. We get to pretend, but that just postpones reality and when reality actually hits, the ramifications of denial are magnified.

The doctor found a small polyp in my colon. He removed it. There’s a possibility that had I not chosen to have the procedure, it could have grown and in ten years I’d have colon cancer.

As I wrote in a previous post, a friend of mine died of cancer this winter. Cancer is not fun. There is no way we can absolutely prevent all health issues in our life. I can’t be assured that I won’t get some other form of cancer in some other part of my body. There are many things we can do to ensure senior citizens health.

Today I had a procedure that will minimize the probability of getting one form of cancer. If you’re over 55, get it done. It’s as simple as that.

If you have any questions, please feel free to ask me anything. Boundaries are minimal.

Senior Fitness for Abs

2009-05-16T11:05:00.000-07:00

While I try to accept my aging body, the post menopausal tummy, drives me crazy. I know I eat too much, but I'm going to try these ab exercises from FitnessDiet.Info. I actually like crunches, so I'll let you know if it works.

Should You Retirement?

2009-05-15T13:08:00.000-07:00

To most people, retirement is mostly a question about money. Do I have enough financial resources to last the rest of my life?

Here are additional questions to think about.

What percentage of time do you love what you do?

What percentage of time do you love who you work with?

What percentage of time do you love when you work?

Can those questions be a criteria of when you should retire or look for another job?

Family Finances Part Two

2009-05-13T06:25:00.001-07:00

As I mentioned in a previous post, we scheduled a family meeting to discuss money. Not everyone made it this year, but a process was started that I plan on continuing.

We have one daughter and one son. My husband and I try to split everything equally. Unfortunately, we made a bad decision (I think) by making them co-executors of our estate, should something happen to us simultaneously.

My husband was executor of his mother’s estate and there was a lot of paperwork to fill out and sign. He was in a different state than the attorney, so it was challenge. My children live in different states and I don’t think we’ve done them any favors by making them co-executors. We don’t have a resolution. I hoping they will discuss it and help us decide what to do.

My son brought up concerns about making the mortgage payment if we’re not around. I thought that was a good question, but couldn’t provide an answer. We’re going to discuss it with our financial person to find out the answer.

Every family I know struggles over family estates. I know of more than one family where siblings and parents stopped talking to each other over money. I don’t know if we can prevent that from happening. I glad we had a family meeting.

Family Finances

2009-05-07T05:58:00.000-07:00

Americans don’t like to talk about money or finances. There’s an attitude that it’s none of anyone else’s business. Which may be true, but money is a major factor in successful aging.

My mother is a very independent woman. I trait I appreciate, but also drives my brother, sister and I crazy. She is reticent to share her financial situation with us, which has made it difficult for us to help her. Now that she’s in her mid-eighties with memory issues it would be nice to be able to have a open dialog about her financial situation.

As my siblings and I continue to try to figure how to help my mother, my husband and I are discussing how we might avoid the same trap. While our children have a vague idea about our estate the plan has been to have a yearly meeting to let them know about our financial and estate situation. We’ve been intending to do this for over a year, but have failed to schedule a time to have the conversation.

I’ve decided Mother’s Day is the right time to have the call. While not the most sentimental of topics, it is for the benefit of all of us that we have the discussion.

My husband and I live in Southern California, daughter is in San Francisco and son is on the east coast. Everyone can call into Instant Conferencing # for free. They will have to pay any toll charges for the long distance call.

I’m still working on the agenda, but we want to let them know where financial information is kept. We have a trust, so we’ll answer any questions they might have about that. We’ll also let them know where our money and an overview of our financial situation. In addition, I’m hoping we can answer any questions they may have.

Aging and finances are intricately intertwined. Families should learn to work together for successful retirement living. Not everyone can have this conversation, but I’d like to hear how other families deal with finances and family as they get older.

Baby boomers understand this isn't your parents’ retirement. Find out how to make the rest of your life the best of your life with the complimentary e-book 7 Ingredients for a Satisfying Retirement at http://tinyurl.com/8moymb

Quotes from Thomas Leonard

2009-05-05T16:21:00.000-07:00

This comes from Andrea J. Lee's Blog

Here are your 5 snippets of wisdom about people for this week. We hope you’ll find them as useful and thought-provoking as always. They’re from the collection by Thomas Leonard, and assembled by his R&D team.

We hope you’ll enjoy!

· People have the capacity to create. They create their lives and opportunities each day of their lives.

· People most often criticize traits in others that they dislike about themselves.

· People play out issues from their families of origin in their present workplace situations.

· People suffer because they resist the present moment.

· People see the world not as it is, but as they are.

About Retirement Guilt

2009-04-30T06:03:00.001-07:00

Retirement is an interesting transition regardless of how it occurs. A couple rarely retires at the same time. Even if they do, there’s a shift that occurs. In our case, my husband retired in the fall and I continue to work from home.

Yesterday, he decided to work in the flower beds in the backyard. That had been my domain for years, but I just don’t have the time to keep it up. I felt guilty as I watched him lug bags of bark, pull weeds and clear winter clutter. At the same time, I wanted to control what he did and how things took shape. Plus, I wanted to be outside on the beautiful spring day.

In the end, I walked out once an hour for a five minute break. Then I would go back to the dungeon to work.

Spring In the Blue Ridge Moutains

2009-04-28T11:01:00.001-07:00

I am disappointed in myself. I had hoped to post to this blog everyday while I was on the trip to western North Carolina. The three-hour time change and lack of WiFi made writing and posting more difficult than expected. So, here’s the recap of the week in the mountains.

Day 1. Took the redeye from Los Angeles to Atlanta, grabbed the rental car and was on the road by 7:00 am. We stopped for breakfast at a Waffle House. First time at a Waffle House, even though they are on almost every other corner in that part of the country. It was hardy and filling and the service was friendly.

I was born and raised in the west, so the opulent beauty of the southeast always astounds me. As we began the climb into the southern Blue Ridge Mountains, the lush beauty struck me. Even though the large deciduous trees were just beginning to leaf, the delicate Dogwoods were in bloom and wildflowers were popping up along the roadside.

We were staying in Sapphire, a small ski resort in Jackson County in southern North Carolina, which is an area known for its waterfalls. Although we had only dosed on the plane, we decided a hike was in order to see Glen Falls. We made it to the top third of the falls, but lack of sleep and being completely out of shape prevented us from descending the full 1.6 miles to the bottom. It was lovely and once again, we were revived and excited about the upcoming week.

Day 2. Today we headed for Ashville, home to the Biltmore, known as the ‘largest home in America.’ We didn’t visit the Biltmore, but wanted to spend the day taking in the rest of the town. It’s a city of about 70,000. We didn’t have an agenda, so decided to start from the visitor’s bureau, which was also the chamber of commerce. It was a wonderful building in the heart of town. They offered trolley site seeing tours, which we decided to take. The tour lasted an hour and half, but you could get off and on at the various stops. Our tour guide was a wonderful man named Kenneth, who had written books about the area. You could tell he was delighted in sharing the wealth of the history of the town.

We left the tour for a detour of the art district down by the river. Artists took up residence in the old abandon warehouses that dotted the wharf. We were only able to sample a small block that included potters, weavers, glassworks, woodworking and traditional paint on canvas artists. Everyone was friendly and delighted to stop and talk about his or her art. After a bite to eat at a small café, we hopped back on the trolley to finish the tour.

Ashville is a delightful town, combining a wonderful blend of old south and new world. The downtown had been renovating and we would have liked more time to look around.

Even though it was the longer way home, we decided to hop on the Blue Ridge Parkway. Built as a WPA project during the depression, the parkway stretches from Virginia to Tennessee. Having grown up in the mountains of Colorado, I am familiar with the hairpin curves as one rises and descends through the mountains. It was a delightful surprise to discover that once you get to the parkway, you actually stay on the ridge. One second you’re looking at the mountains and valleys to the north, the next to the ones on the south. Overlooks appear every quarter mile or so, allowing for better viewing of the panoramic landscape that stretches for miles in every direction.

At first, I was disappointed the trees had not sprouted their leaves yet. As we peered through the branches at the landscape beyond, it occurred to me that in a few weeks the leaves on the branches will make visibility impossible. There was a tradeoff. The hills were still brown, dotted with the occasional evergreen, but you could see clearly in every direction. Don’t get me wrong, it was a spectacular sight in any season. I can only imagine the bumper-to-bumper traffic that occurs at the peak of the fall colors.

Day 3 – We woke up to a gray and drizzly day. As is common on most of trips, we take a time to look at real estate. We were surprised at the development in the mountains area where we stayed. The little town of Highlands ten miles to the west boasted condominiums on the lake with a sales price of 900 thousand dollars. Way too rich for these Californians.

We decided to spend the day at a lower altitude with hopefully lower prices. We are interested in finding a new area to retire, but not necessarily a retirement community. The tour guide in Ashville recommended we visit Hendersonville, a small community to the south.

All the towns we passed through were charming. Hendersonville had a small downtown area that had been completely renovated. It boasted with planters filled with tulips and pansies in front of refurbished storefronts over a hundred years old.

We toured through some interesting new housing developments. We found an area just outside of town where the homes were clustered into one lever four-plexes. We liked the layout and design, but I was concerned about the lack of outdoor privacy.

One of the reasons we always look at homes when we travel is how it increases the knowledge of what we want. The more I struggle with keeping landscaping at our home in California, the more I’m interested in finding a place without yard work. I still love to be outside and would like outdoor privacy, however, it is nice to look at the different options available. With each tour, we learn more about what we want in a new home.

Day 4. The community center where we stayed provided an advertising rack for local businesses that cater to tourists. I looked through it our first day and was delighted to find a brochure for the John C Campbell Folk School. Established in 1925 as a way to preserve the music and culture of the people of the Appalachian region, the school draws instructors and students from all over the world to study and preserve folk art.

The school is nestled in a beautiful valley a few miles east of Murphy, North Carolina. Tucked in the hills of the southern Blue Ridge Mountains, the school rests among a grove of trees. The number of buildings for the school is actually larger than the town of Brasstown where it’s located.

We arrived in the late morning, took a tour of the museum that tells the story of the school and the people of the Appalachian Mountains. We were invited to visit classrooms and got to three before the lunch break. The classrooms were small with less than twelve people.

In a woodworking class, we were greeted by John surrounded by five students who were to learn how to make and play a flute. Many of the students had been to the school before and they welcomed us to the class. As they were shortly taking a break, John was more than eager to have new people in attendance as he leaned back in his chair to tell us the legend of the beginning of music.

We also visited a woodworking class where students were making a shaker bench from hand. When we passed through, they were forming the base of the seat. In the weaving class, a group of advanced students were working on tiny looms to create a sampler of patterns from the area.

We were disappointed we weren’t able to visit more classes before lunch, but were delighted to discover the school. We acquired a huge catalog of classes for 2009. They last for extended weekends to a full week. Many classes are centered on music, both making and playing instruments. If it could be considered folk art, they most likely have a class for it.

Day 5. It was a culture shock, to say the least, to go from the folk school to the Biltmore the next day. As we drove to Asheville, more trees were popping leaves, and wildflowers of every color dotted the roadside.

The Biltmore is touted as the largest home in the United States and it doesn’t disappoint. As one of the most visited homes in the country, it is all very organized as hundreds of people descend daily to view the house and surrounding estate.

Built at the turn of the twentieth century by George Vanderbilt, the Biltmore is a testament to the opulent wealth of the guided age. Guests receive a guidebook and are allowed to tour the estate at their own pace. Audio guides and special tours are also available for an additional charge.

While the house is impressive, it is definitely crowded, so I enjoyed to freedom to roam through the gardens and conservatory. We were a couple of weeks early for the azalea garden, although there were a few plants that were starting to bud. Instead, we feasted on hundreds of tulips that were in bloom.

The Biltmore is the primary draw to the western North Carolina Mountains and is certainly necessary for everyone’s list.

Day 6. We elected to take a tour for the day, which consisted of a bus ride to Bryson City and then the train ride into the Nantahala Gorge. I found it ironic that only a month before I had ridden the train with my grandchildren into the Grand Canyon.

We had driven every day since our arrival to the mountains, so it was nice to have a break and let someone else take charge. The train follows the banks of the Nantahala River. It’s a gentle ride through lush mountainsides. We could see rafters on the river below. Although, the rapids seemed tame, on a cool spring day, I wouldn’t want to fall into a stream of melted snow.

While I thought the scenery of the Great Smoky Mountain Railroad was prettier than the one leading to the Grand Canyon, there’s no comparison in destination. As we reached the end of the line, I asked when we’d be arriving at the gorge, only to find out we were already in it. No one has ever looked over the Grand Canyon and remarked, “Is that all there is?”

Day 7. It was our last day in the Blue Ridge Mountains of western North Carolina. Once again, we jump in the car. Today we stayed close to home, as we drove less than twenty miles to visit some of the numerous waterfalls that dot the area. Signage was a bit of a problem as we had to backtrack at one point, because the turnoff was missing a road sign. With that said, we saw five waterfalls, all within a short drive of where we were staying.

Cashiers Sliding Rock is a swimmers delight in summer as people can cascade down the rocks into a large pond. The Chatooga is also a destination for swimmers and fishermen in summer, but on this day we were alone. We ended the day at the impressive Whitewater Falls, the tallest falls in the eastern US.

The western North Carolina mountain area was some of the most beautiful county I’ve seen. It wasn’t the hillbilly land I expected. Huge homes, worth millions dot the hillsides, but much of the charm still of the area remains. Everyone we met was gracious and friendly. We were never treated as intruders, but always as guests in this distinctive and diversified area.

A Time for Stairs

2009-04-19T15:50:00.000-07:00

I’ve previously commented on what menopause does to muscle tone. The phrase “use it or lose it,” personifies certainly my body’s experience over the last ten years. I was aware of the need to take care of myself in a more concerted effort and embarked on a journey to find an exercise regime that I enjoyed. Growing up I was the kid who was always last…

After a number of gym memberships, classes at the rec center, I found a yoga instructor on t.v. that I liked and committed to thirty minutes a day. In addition, my husband and I walk two times a day for about mile each. Not strenuous, but it gets outside the heart pumps for a few minutes.

About six months ago, I did something to my shoulders. It has been diagnosed as bursitis, but so far has not improved. I can’t raise either arm above my shoulder and if I move in a certain way, there is a searing pain that runs through my shoulders. As a result, I stopped doing my yoga. While yoga didn’t build muscle, I felt like I wasn’t losing ground. Since then, it’s been a race against time to see if I’m going to heal before I turn into a mass of cellular mush.

My husband and I are currently staying at a time-share in Northern Carolina. I will share our week as we explore the area as a tourist and as a potential place to retire.

Our condominium is two stories. At first, I was hesitant about the stairs. After the red eye from LA to Atlanta yesterday, the last thing I wanted to do was bounce up and down stairs. As I sat upstairs in the living room so my husband could take a nap downstairs in the bedroom, it occurred to me that stairs is exactly what I need in my life right now.

Because, there were so many exercises I couldn’t do in yoga, I stopped even though there isn’t anything wrong with my legs. The walking every day is okay, but doesn’t push muscle development.

For the next seven days, those stairs are my friend. Up and down I go. It may be a strange place to start a vacation journey, but it’s what you get on Saturday morning.

Retirement Homes, Communities: The Good, Bad and the Ugly

2009-04-10T10:47:00.000-07:00

Retirement Life Matters was created to help the baby boomer transition into retirement (however you want to define it.) Because we don’t live in a vacuum, it becomes necessary to broaden the discussion.

My mother is an active eighty three year old. She left her condo a few years ago to move back into a house. In fact, moving is what my mom does best. Within months of finding a new home, she finds she isn’t happy and starts scouring for greener pastures.

Unfortunately, her memory is becoming problem. She lives a thousand miles from the nearest family member, so we’re trying to come to a collective decision as to what is the next best living situation for her.

When I grew up, people lived in their own homes until they couldn’t function by themselves anymore. Then, they either moved in with a family member or went to a nursing home. That was the term we grew up with and was the only option when people got older.

In today’s world, there are many more choices. Unfortunately, the terms can be confusing. What’s independent living versus assisted or continuing care? Here are the definitions.

I received a promotional DVD in the mail yesterday marketing a local senior Continuing Care Retirement Community. I lamented at the challenge over getting my mother to consider this type of arrangement.

It occurred to me that our parents’ generation grew up with the concept of nursing homes being the place elders were warehoused when they could no longer function. While there is a wide range of new choices, the image of being shuttered off prevails.

My godfather still lives in his home of fifty years refusing to consider any other options. He is lonely and bored, but in his case, refuses to leave familiar surroundings.

I would love suggestions of how children talk to their elderly parents about moving to these newer environments.

Baby Boomer Retirement: Interesting Statistics

2009-04-07T09:09:00.000-07:00

The recent economic downturn has changed the retirement landscape for many of the boomer generation. Recent results from the California Budget Project indicate, once again, that we need to redefine 'retire.'

While the report focused on Californians, it reflects trends across the country.

The report findings:

From 1995 to 2008, the employment rate increased almost 10 percent for those aged 55 to 64. Almost 63 percent of people remain in the workforce at 64.

For women from age 55 to 69, the employment rate rose 12 percentage points to 49 percent. Over 60 percent of men, age 55 to 69 remained employed.

The idea of not working after 65 is shifting. A number of factors were sited as the cause. The rising cost of living and healthcare affect people’s decision to work. Likewise, many workers don’t have adequate savings or pensions to see them to the end of life.

There are other reasons people continue to work. Improved health, along with the longer life span has allowed willing workers to stay on the job longer. More people have jobs that are not physically demanding. People want to stay connected, active and engaged.

Of those who want to continue working, many want to change aspects of their jobs. As many as two-thirds want to do something different. They want work that is less stressful and allows them to spend more time with their family. Many want work where they feel they are making a contribution.

Retirement was formerly thought as a time of ending and closure. Baby boomers now see retirement age as an opportunity for a new beginning. They want the opportunity to start a new life journey.

Good-bye Rochelle

2009-04-01T07:40:00.000-07:00

I just received an email that my friend Rochelle died last week from a long battle with cancer. Rochelle and I went through the same career counseling program. She went a number of years after me, but we met, and became friends.

Last year she attended my Retirement Life Matters Workshop. She liked the work and decided to join me. While she was never very healthy, she was able to be my muse. I looked forward to our monthly luncheons where we would bat ideas around. She had amazing insight. It was through her support and effort that I was able to complete the 7 Ingredients for a Satisfying Retirement.

We were on the program committee for the last International Career Development Conference, held in November. At the last minute, she decided she wasn’t well enough to attend. I have a plaque I was going to give her in appreciation for the work she’d done on the committee.

The reason I’m sharing this with you is I want to honor Rochelle, her life and her fight with cancer. Not only am I sad that she is gone, but more disappointed that I haven’t seen her since last fall. We talked and tried to schedule a time to meet. Between being busy and her chemo, there was always a reason not to get together. Now she’s gone.

This is a reminder to all of us that no matter how active we are to take the time to connect with the important people in our lives.

Death is part of the cycle. Rochelle fought as valiantly as anyone I’ve ever known. I knew she was very ill, but I always figured I’d have another week where we could get together. That opportunity is now gone forever.

Fruits and Vegetables

2009-03-20T08:50:00.000-07:00

It’s been tough to write during the last three weeks. You see, I started a new job. I’m a home-based consultant for Right Management, helping people who have recently been laid off with their job search. The great thing is I get to continue to work from home. In order to manage telecommuters, there are a myriad of policies, procedures and documentation. So far, there are eight separate and unique websites I have to learn. Of course, each has its own log in and password.

For the most part, I like the work. After one day, we started working with clients and I now have ten. They are from all over the country, from different industries and professions. I find them to be enthusiastic, positive and accepting of my help. That’s saying a lot in this economic climate.

I’m going to let you in on a secret that I covered up well in my interview. I was crazy busy before I took the job, and now I’m barely hanging on by thread. Once I get through the thirty-two hours of training, it should be more manageable.

We have this interesting shift that has occurred in our family. I’ve always been busy, but my husband was also busy. I’m working seven days a week. He’s retired. Therefore, he’s having to take more household responsibility. Bless him, he’s doing that. He’s cooking, doing dishes, and laundry.

I sent him to the store to buy the week’s groceries, with my ATM card, no less. Deep breath. I told him he couldn’t spend more than $150 (this will last two weeks). He did good, and stayed below his budget. I was helping putting away the groceries and commented, “I see you didn’t spend much time in the fruits and vegetables.”

Quite innocently, he responded, “Yes, I did. I bought canned corn, beans, peas and tomatoes.” The men who read this might not see the humor, but most women will read this and chuckle.

Here’s the dilemma. I can do it all myself. I can criticize what he’s done, so he becomes angry and resentful at trying to help out. Or, I can keep my mouth shut. This is what happens when you enter retirement. Whether I’m working or not, I want him to participate in the chores around the house. At some level, I have to back off and not dictate how I want it done.

I'd love to hear other stories of how men help out around the house after retirement.

Relationship Guru

2009-03-11T07:14:00.000-07:00

Times of financial instability and transitions, such as retirement or job change can wreak havoc on relationships. Unfortunately, by the time most people get to therapy, the bond is broken.

Stephen Frueh is a coach and educator who is passionate about building effective relationships. Whether your relationship is in trouble or you just want to improve it, Stephen has a wealth of information at http://www.marriageconversation.com/

Help a Small Business

2009-03-04T07:03:00.000-08:00

I’ve been so impressed with the creative things businesses are doing to lure us into using them. My favorite art supply company, Cheap Joes offers free shipping on all orders. The local Cineplex sent a postcard offering two movie tickets for the price of one, plus a free 46 oz popcorn with purchase of a soda every Tuesday during the month of March. What a deal!

We got a huge wake-up call last fall. There are certainly people in this country who are in dire straights, losing homes and jobs. Those of us who aren’t affected directly know someone who is or are afraid because of the situation.

The good news is the savings has shifted from a negative rate to over 8%. This is in part a good thing. BUT, if we totally button up and stop spending completely, we’ll collectively send the economy into the depression everyone is talking about.

Most people don’t realize that small business is the backbone of our country. Over the last twenty years, small business has had the most job growth. While the large corporations have been losing jobs, small companies have been growing.

I want to start a campaign to help a small business. As you go through your week, identify a small business you can go out of your way to support. It can be an artisan, independent farmer, retail establishment, or service provider.

I painted last Tuesday. There’s a gentleman that comes by every week to wash cars. My first inclination was to say no and save the $20.00. Then, I stopped. That $20.00 isn’t going to kill me, but it’s going to mean a lot to him.

Since then, I’ve done a lot of thinking about the economy. We can buy into the nightly news of how horrible it is, weave a cocoon, and try to hibernate. Or we can declare we are going to do everything to be positive, supportive and make a contribution to the world we live in.

I love being connected to the amazing small business people on the Internet, so I want to start a viral campaign to shift the energy and momentum in a new direction. Will you help?

Retirement Work

2009-02-25T09:58:00.001-08:00

I made a request last week for stories of people who found interesting jobs in retirement. I had a great response and will be sharing these in the upcoming weeks.
I want more stories, so be on the lookout for retired jobs to share with others.

Margarite shared her experience as a substitute teacher. She lives in California, so you will want to check out the requirements for your state.

My idea for part time work is Substitute Teaching. I did it the entire time I was working on my MA and it worked well for me. I had a special credential that allowed me to work in high schools also, so switched to that level. All one needs to Sub is a BA in any area, the schools are flexible if you have a Math degree they will let you work in pretty much anything one wants to do, PE, science, debate, I did both boys and girls PE, band and orchestra as they just needed a certified Sub in the room. I knew enough Spanish & French to get by, so one can sign up for anything really. One doesn’t need a Teacher’s Certificate to Sub, just a BA and the CBEST test. It is given frequently and there are books available to study for it. It tests in 3 areas, English writing, Math and Grammar. The best book is CBEST for Dummies. One can take the test as many times as needed to pass, then a TB test and go off to whatever school district needs subs. The pay is usually $80 to over $120+/day depending on school districts and if extended subbing is needed. Who knows if the person enjoys it they might even want to become a Teacher!

In retirement, teachers are also returning to substituting. There are many other areas where you can work with children. If you don’t have a degree, you might look at being an aid in a classroom or childcare facility. Look at programs in non-profits, such as the YMCA and Boys and Girls Clubs, and programs through your park and recreation. Consider being a tutor. Parents are always looking for qualified babysitters, for the night, weekend or when they travel. There is always a need for foster parents and foster grandparents.

The new retirement should be called Retirement Inc. The boomers retirement will be different. Now is the time to create your own retirement income security.

Fish in Sheep’s Clothing

2009-02-20T12:23:00.000-08:00

I’m not a big fish eater. It probably has to do with growing up in Middle America. My husband feels the same way. I love Salmon and eat it when we go out, but it’s not my husband’s first choice. To accommodate our senior citizens health, we are trying to make adult nutrition choices.

About a year ago, we discovered Tilapia fish. I had never heard of it, but we tried it, liked it and have become regular connoisseurs. We liked Tilapia because it doesn’t have any bones, bakes easily and the flavor is light and delicate.

Why are we eating fish? Because, fish has high levels of Omega-3 fatty acids which is good for us. We were surprised to discover recently, not only is Tilapia low in Omega-3, it’s high in Omega-6, the bad fats. In addition, it’s highly contaminated with pollutants if it comes from Asia or South America. We’ll finish eating the frozen Tilapia we have, but won’t eat any more or only on rare occasions.

The lesson is we can’t assume that because something is ‘fish,’ it’s automatically good for you. That’s true because of the nutrients in the fish, but also because of pollutants and over fishing. In researching what fish we should eat, we came across a site that provides great information about fish that is good for you and the environment. It’s provided by Environmental Defense Fund. The fish are organized in alpha order in three columns: Eco-best, Eco-ok, Eco-worst. When you click on the fish, it describes the health effects, as well as the environmental situation. You can learn what seafood is good to eat as well as not damaging to the environment.

Adult Seniors Seek Retirement Income Security

2009-02-18T07:22:00.000-08:00

In last Sunday’s paper, I read a nationally syndicated columnist address the issue of part time income in retirement. He confirmed organizations that offer to set you up in business for a small fee are usually scams and should be avoided. The columnist then suggested the solution was to find a part time job doing retail. This solution to part time income was both limited and inane. First of all, retail has been hit hard in the recent economic down turn, so it’s just not a viable option for quick short term money.

Retirees make up a broad group of people with a wide range of skills and talents. As they have watched their savings plummet over the last few months, many retiring baby boomers and persons older are looking for retirement work. Some need to augment their retirement income security. Many active adult seniors are looking for ways to turn activities, hobbies and other interests into ways to increase retirement pay.

Over the next few days, I am going to compile resources so the new senior can generate income through either part time jobs (working for someone else) or starting a part time business. There are amazing activities, seniors have engaged to create new retirement careers. Some have found interesting ways to be of service to others, turn adult homemade crafts into salable products, or shift a passion into a way of making money.

Please share websites, books, experts and examples of how retired people work to increase their income. I’m looking for creative examples; turning hobbies into income, earning money while contributing, income while traveling, project based or part time work. I’m looking for examples of what people can do, not how to get a job or start a business.

Emotional Calculator: Retirement and Money

2009-02-12T14:00:00.000-08:00

Last year I started approaching authors whose books I thought would be of interest to my readers at Retirement Life Matters. One of those authors’ was Brenda Hendrickson who wrote a nicely compact book called, How To Be A Frugal Millionaire: Eight Simple Steps to Creating Personal Wealth. Initially, the idea was for me to read the book and then provide a review on the website, in my newsletter and in my blog. Then if Brenda wanted to continue to add articles to RLM, she could do so. In addition, Brenda has a developed a free online series called How To Be A Frugal Millionaire,” which was delivered to my inbox.

Unfortunately, I never fulfilled my end of the bargain, which was to read the book and provide a reivew. At first, I used the excuse that I was busy and didn’t have the time to read the book. As time wore on and I began to feel guilty, I realized there was more to it. When I stopped to analyze the situation, I realized I hate the word frugal. In my mind, frugal means to do without.

Lest you think, I’m a consumption driven boomer who shops at the drop of hat, let me assure I’m not. I would say I’m very conservative financially. In looking up to word frugal, one definition is to ‘avoid waste,’ which I think is wonderful. Somehow I associated frugal with deprivation. So, while I don't want to indulge myself, the idea of being deprived isn't too appealing either.

The reason I share this story with you is twofold. One, I want to tell you about Brenda’s book. She offers some easy, common sense advice to live within your means. Something, we all need to learn how to do better, especially now.

I also want to share how emotionally charged is the discussion around money. Good depression era folks who always told me there wasn’t enough raised me. Even though I have worked on my abundance consciousness, if you will, there is still emotion that I haven’t been able to get passed.

What are you’re emotional issues about money and how do you mask them? Retirement often changes our relationship to money. Retirement costs are not just the dollars and cents but your own peace of mind. Understanding your personally feelings about money will help retirement work for you.

Are Your an Active Citizen Senior?

2009-02-03T08:47:00.000-08:00

I’ve been working on key words for my web site. Which basically means identifying words that people key into Google and then including them in my writings. There is a great Key word, ‘citizen senior’ that I haven’t been able to figure out how to use.

I don’t want to politicize Retirement Life Matters, but I just read in my morning paper and it was on the news last night that the Republican minority wants to find a way to help with the mortgage crisis. I certainly appreciate their wanting to be a productive part of the process instead of just being resistant to anything the new administration is proposing.

I think their suggestion of wanting to work with the mortgage situation is about four months too late. It doesn’t matter what your mortgage situation is if you don’t have a job. While it is helpful to be able to work with a bank if you lose your job, for many there isn’t much they’re going be able to do if they don’t have any income. The most important thing the Congress can do now is create an incentive to stop companies from bleeding jobs. Somebody needs to figure out how to put a finger in the dike.

After reading the paper, I decided to write to Mitch McConnell and tell him what I think. This is part of being a good citizen. In fact, you can write to your senator and let him or her know what you think about the stimulation package. This involves all of us and everyone should be willing to take a moment to communicate to their elected leaders. And while not perfect, is this an example of a citizen senior in action?

Two ingredients to a satisfying retirement are staying connected and engaging in meaningful activities. How do you stay connected and what have you done that was meaningful recently? Sign up for the Retirement Life Matters Newsletter and download the 7 Ingredients for a Satisfying Retirement for free.

Retirement Work for the Over 55 Community

2009-01-30T12:53:00.000-08:00

I’m delighted to report that I am quoted in a recent ABC News article about job search over 50.

Over the last few years, I shifted my focus away from career counseling and job search towards retirement life planning. There is an overlap between them, but it is different. Because of all the lay-offs and change in the economy, I’ve decided to incorporate more job search information in my blog and other writing.

I was reading the comments to the article and one woman lamented she’d been without a job for six years, had applied at ‘every site on the Internet,’ but had only had a handful of interviews.

I know what it’s like to be unemployed, to feel like you’re doing everything you know how to do and keep coming up short. It becomes so easy to feel like a victim under those circumstances. At some point in time, you have to also to evaluate yourself and the situation and say, “Something’s got to change.”

I don’t know this woman’s specific situation, but my first advice would be to focus her job search energy away from the Internet for awhile. She obviously is not conveying what she wants to communicate on her resume. Take it to friends, former colleagues and have them honestly review it. Call or email friends who are employed. Tell them you’re looking for XYZ type of work and to keep their eyes and ears open for suggestions. Be willing to do things differently.

As people get closer to retirement, jobs become harder to find. There are many activities seniors can do to improve their job search. Retired jobs a now very much in demand as retired seniors watch their retirement income security disappear.

We’re going to spend more time exploring what the over 55 community can do to create and find retirement work.

Goals: The Key to a Happy Retirement (and Life)

2009-01-29T07:14:00.000-08:00

I was reading different blogs last week (I don’t remember which one), but the author of one wrote, “I don’t want to have goals right now.” I certainly know how she feels. Especially when most goals are centered around all the things we should be doing; losing weight, exercising, getting organized, etc. No wonder most people break their resolutions and goals soon after the new year.

As I wrote recently, I made a commitment to write my goals down this year. The goals I listed are mostly about the things I want to have in my life. One thing I want to do is enter my paintings in more shows this year. I submitted two paintings and one photo in the Thousand Oaks Art Association Open show this month and had the photograph and one painting accepted. I’m so delighted.

I’ll never know whether or not I would have submitted the art work to this show had I not written down my goals. All I can say is I had intended to enter more shows for the last two years and didn’t. I also hadn’t written my goals down.

There is three things I can say about goals. The first is to select goals that make your heart sing and are worth working for. Second, attach your goals to specific behavior. Don’t think, “My goal is to get more organized.” But instead, “I’m going to get more organized by spending one hour a week organizing. I’m going to organize my paper, bedroom closets, photographs and kitchen cupboards.

My art goal reads, " I will enter at least four shows this year. " Finally, identify the hour a week you’re going to organize. It helps if it’s consistent, but often that’s not possible. Finally, write the goals down.

We know baby boomers retirement is going to be different. The senior new to retirement can quickly fall into a dreary abyss with out a plan. Retirement goals become the foundation to how to retire happy. Share your goals for the upcoming year.

A Time to Commit

2009-01-19T11:44:00.000-08:00

In addition to honoring Reverend Martin Luther King today, there has been a call for volunteerism. My local paper encouraged people to pick up trash or donate food to a homeless shelter. These are noble and honorable ways of giving your time.

As this new administration appears to include service as an important part of its agenda, I hope people nearing or in retirement will expand the vision of their involvement. Older people are looking for ways they can make a difference that are both personally meaningful and fulfilling.

As I have expanded my own quest to get involved, I’ve found we don’t always know where to put our energy. I’ve read countless stories of new retirees who had great intention, only to be rebuffed by the very people they were want to help. Some have not been able to find the right fit that is a good balance between their skills, interests and the needs of the community.

As Retirement Life Matters expands, I hope it will be a place where people will share both their successes and struggles at making a difference. We will provide ways to explore options and resources people can use to get into the community.

Yes, there are many baby boomers that will need to continue to work and retirement is being reinvented in a number of different ways. There is still opportunity for us to feel like we are contributing members of society.

So this is Retirement?

2009-01-13T15:29:00.001-08:00

My husband took a shower and shaved this morning. Not an every day occurence since retirement. I had a doctor's appointment, so decided to actually put on make-up this morning. Not an every day occurence. (It was a new doctor.)

The appointment went faster than expected. When I got home, I suggested we go out to lunch. After he said, "Sure, where?" there was the silence as I raced through the options. We ended up going to a cafe, where we could sit outside and overlook a pond at the Westlake Inn. The idea was we'd sit outside, enjoy the spring like weather, have some good food and come back home to do more work.

It hasn't happened that way. We both have been useless this afternoon. My big accomplishment will be writing the blog.

So, maybe that's why retirement is after work...

Staff of Life

2009-01-12T11:39:00.000-08:00

I’m not a big bread eater. I don’t eat much because the stuff you get in stores is tasteless paste. I love to travel to other countries and reconnect to what bread is supposed to taste like.

I used to make bread, but I don’t have time for all the mixing, kneading, rising and baking that has to take place. In addition, I end up with two loaves of bread that will most likely get moldy before my husband and I can consume it. Because I make a big pot of homemade soup every week, it would be so nice to have fresh bread or rolls to go with it once in awhile.

A few weeks ago, I was listening to a NPR show, The Splendid Table as they replayed a show where the host discussed the book Artisan Bread in Five Minutes a Day: The Discovery That Revolutionizes Home Baking

Oh my gosh, this is the most amazing thing I’ve encountered in years. The artisan bread is easy to make and you only have to bake as much as you want for your meal. On top of that, there is no kneading, so it only takes a few minutes to make.

You combine the four ingredients; flour, water, yeast and salt together. Let it rise in a warm place for a couple of hours, then put it in the refrigerator. Anytime you want bread over the next two weeks, cut a grapefruit size chunk from the bowl, shape it and throw it in a 350 degree oven and in thirty minutes you have a little slice of heaven; piping hot, full of flavor and substance.

I’m only on my first batch, so I don’t know if it works with whole wheat flour and I’m haven’t considered the extra calories that I’m consuming. For a special treat, it certainly has been a pleasure.

Pedometers and Paintings

2009-01-09T05:12:00.000-08:00

I’ve never been big on resolutions per se. They just always seemed negative, a set up for failure, and I have enough of those that I don’t need to go looking for more.

I do love the whole New Year thing of a clean slate, new dreams, goals, clearing clutter and starting over. That is something I take advantage of.

I started writing my goals down in earnest ten years ago. I missed a couple of years, but with my husband retiring, I felt that, not only did I need to set my own goals, but we as a couple needed to establish mutual objectives. That was interesting and I’ll share more about that later.

As with most Americans, I want to get more physically fit. I hurt my shoulder a while back and haven’t been able to do much yoga or strength training. I want to walk more this years, so we purchased two pedometers yesterday. The goal is to walk 10,000 steps a day. First, I need to find out how many steps I’m actually walking a day. That should be interesting.

I have not been pleased with my growth as an artist. It feels like I’ve been stagnant for the last couple of years. Somehow, entering shows raises the level of the work, so my commitment is to enter at least four juried shows. I have the paperwork all filled out for the first and will hopefully be accepted into the show. I’m submitting two paintings and one photograph.

This brings us to a bit of advice. If you do establish goals for the year, set yourself up for success as soon as possible. Long term goals are fine, but break them down so you can feel like you are a master of your destiny.

Another goal I have this year is to do a better job of linking to other blogs. The first blog I want to tell you about is Ask Allison at Women Bloom. The site is dedicated to middle-aged women. That used to be a death sentence, but Allison makes it sound oh so chic.

In a recent blog, Allison discussed identifying guiding principles for 2009. These become the foundation for all the other goals. She starts by talking about how the world feels so out of control right now. As we look around, we know there is no business as usual. Whatever is going on in the world, there are some fundamental changes that are occurring. As Dorothy so profoundly stated, “Toto, I don’t think we are in Kansas any more.”

Over the next couple of weeks, I’ll share my goals with you, hope you’ll share with me and let’s see how we can make this a great year. Regardless, of what is going on around us.

Sneak Peak at the New Website

2009-01-06T11:18:00.001-08:00

It started as a silly conversation. A younger friend was interested in SEO and I was ready to build a website for my coaching and counseling work. One thing let to another and eightteen months later, we're ready to say, "Come on over and take a look around."

This is the first official announcement that Retirement Life Matters is ready for viewing. I'm looking for a few brave people to try filling 'My RLM Page'. I'm the only one up there right now.

Read some of the articles. If you'd like to contribute articles to the website, let me know. If you have a book you'd like to promote, I'd love to talk to you about becoming an expert on the site.

I know there are a lot of sites dedicated to retiring baby boomers. I'm sure there are some that are similar to ours. I have a vision that baby boomers can redefine aging as a time to be vibrant, fulfilled and meaningful. My vision is to create a website that will support that journey.

Test of Time

2008-12-31T15:41:00.000-08:00

I think my family is pretty wired. We only have two cell phones, but five computers for three people. When my grandchildren came to visit, they each brought their Nintendo Ds, a great babysitter on long trips.

So, it caught me as strange that the five of us (two grandparents, father, two children, ages 5 and 9) could sit down over two nights and play a game of Monopoly. At one point, my grandson had lots of houses, but very little cash and we laughed at how thoroughly modern he was.

As we close out the old year, I’ve been wondering about those cultural icons that survive the test of time. In some strange way, Lucy hangs in there. I wouldn’t necessarily turn to the Lucy show, but if I was bored and flipping channels, I might stop by for a thirty minute visit. She still is one of the best comic geniuses of all time. The same can be said for Carol Burnett.

I had to look up a recipe for cooking acorn squash this afternoon and of all the cookbooks I have, pulled out the Fannie Farmer one that was originally published in 1898. Mine was dated 1965, but it’s still my favorite for the basics.

As you’re celebrating the New Year, take a moment to share about the tried and true that hangs around year after year, offering comfort and joy.

Here’s to a wonderful New Year for everyone around the world.

Credit Card Trauma

2008-12-30T14:14:00.000-08:00

I received a strange letter in the mail letter yesterday. It seems that a Chase credit card I’ve had since 1978 was cancelled because it hadn’t been used in a couple of years. It hadn’t been used because it had a lousy rate. I kept it because I’d had it a long time and wanted to show my credit history.

My first ‘professional’ job was working for a credit company. I used to watch women come in and try to buy furniture on credit, but they hadn’t established any in their own name and couldn’t qualify. I made a promise to always have credit in my own name. In fact, when I married my current husband, I was sent a new application to include my new husband on the card. I refused to fill it out. I called them up, explained I was the same person I had been before the name change, had never missed a payment and there was no reason to believe I couldn’t have the card solely in my name. They backed off.

Women today still don’t have credit in their own name. If they become single through a divorce or death, it’s like they don’t exist. It’s a shame.

I called up Chase this afternoon and worked my way up the chain of command until I talked to Steven. When I explained this was my credit history and begged a little bit, the card was reinstated.

I know this is has happened to others since I’ve been reading about it on blogs and forums today. My suggestion is to give them a call. I don’t know that you can get your card reinstated, but there’s no harm in trying.

I was assured my credit score wouldn’t be affected, but I’m not convinced. Your credit score is based, in part, on the ratio of credit available to you and your outstanding debt. If they cancel a credit card, that ratio could drop and change your score. In today’s world it’s not worth the risk.

For more information about cancelling a card card, read the following:

I just saw this article and want to pass it along to people who have had their credit cards cancelled. http://www.bankrate.com/brm/news/cc/20061114_cancel_card_credit_scorea.asp

Return to Quiet

2008-12-30T13:15:00.000-08:00

First of all, let me say, I’ve been a reasonably functioning adult for many years. I raised two children, worked, went to school and was a contributing member of society.

So, why is that when my two grandchildren come to down, I’m barely able to function? Don’t get me wrong. I keep them fed, clothed, bathed and entertained. That’s the problem. When I was a parent 100% of the time, I didn’t feel the need or desire to entertain my children. Words like, “go watch TV,” might have been uttered from my lips. Now, as a grandparent, I am trying to come up with new and exciting things for us to do the whole time they are here. As a result, my work, and this blog all went by the wayside for a week. I’m not sorry.

They left last night and there a stillness that has nestled in the corners that I’m not yet used to. I’ll be back to normal. I miss the little voices, the smell of cleanly washed hair and the special energy that comes from having children in the house again.

Looking Back

2008-12-20T10:44:00.000-08:00

I don't bake much anymore. The last time I made homemade bread, it got moldy before it was eaten. That took care of that.

I still like to make rolls for Christmas morning. Usually, it's sticky pecan rolls, but this year I decided cinnamon rolls. I've used the same recipe for almost thirty years, and it was fun to look at the ingredients through the splatters of time.

I don't have a mixer any more. I just couldn’t justify the cost when I bake so little. I don't have a sewing machine any more. Same reason. After making all my own clothes and home decorating, when the old machine died, I knew that phase of my life was over.

I usually think about the future. But, it's been interesting thinking back about times long gone. Not happy or sad, just interesting.

Solitaire Anyone?

2008-12-18T08:59:00.000-08:00

There was report last week stating 63% of Americans play video games. Since we don't have a video game through our television, I assumed smugly, they weren't talking about me. Oops, that figure includes people who play solitaire.

If there's a twelve step program, I'm here to state I'm a solitaire addict. I'm making that declaration in the hope I can get on the solitaire abstinence wagon. It starts out innocently enough. I start my computer in the morning, and as I’m still taking my first sip of coffee, rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I play a game of solitaire to wake up. I then read my email, and start about the day’s business.

The problem occurs later in the morning. I’ll sit down to start writing. And there it is, a bad case of writer’s block. The empty screen stares back at me. My mind goes blank. What do I write? Where do I start?

And then, before I even realize it’s happened, I’ve dragged down the menu, clicked on Solitaire and there I am, wasting my time. I will often play until I’ve won. Thank God, I win a lot. The problem is, my mind goes numb and it hasn’t helped my writer’s block at all.

Today, we’re working on changing things. I know the writer’s block looms around every period. Today, I have a plan. Instead of playing a game of solitaire to unblock, I’m going to paint. It may still be a drain on my writing time, but I’m hoping the shift to a creative outlet will help get the right side of my brain juices flowing. At the very least, I’ll have a painting to show for my effort.

Just curious if I’m the only junky in the bloggershere or if there are other closet gamers?

2008-12-16T09:10:00.000-08:00

I wrote in my last blog about 100 extra calories a day adding ten pounds a year to your weight. As I’ve grappled with my own self-indulgence, I’ve been struck by how it relates to other articles I’ve read recently.

Did you know that over half of the world’s population exists on one bowl of rice a year? I read that last summer when gas and grain shot up. We forget as Americans how quickly we’ve shifted from surviving at near starvation levels to an absolute orgy of options. Choices abound, not only in food, but in other commodities.

Recently, there were reports of a band of parents writing to toy manufacturers to pull back on their advertising. They explained they couldn’t afford the toys their children wanted, had a very hard time saying ‘no,’ and wanted the toy people to help them by not thrusting tantalizing commercials for frequent viewing.

Haven’t the last few years been an exercise in indulgence? Whether we’re talking about food, homes, or toys, we’ve allowed ourselves to get caught up in a feeding frenzy of “I want, therefore I deserve.” Of course, we have an economic system that is based on feeding our constant desire to indulge at every whim. Americans work more hours per capita than any other group of people. We live in heightened state of stress to make money to feed the python of consumerism. We suffer from obesity and other lifestyle related ailments because we haven’t learned to say no.

Where do we go from here? One thing is clear, we can’t continue on this path. Our bodies are ill, children spoiled and our spirit is broken. We have an increased chasm between the haves and the have-nots, but everyone can be in debt to pretend they have it all. No one knows what the next couple of years are going to bring. One thing is for sure, we shouldn’t return to our old ways. We need to find another way of defining success, and what it means to be a proud people.

The 100 Calorie Dilemma

2008-12-12T14:36:00.000-08:00

I read something earlier this week that has stayed with me. Basically it said that eating even 100 calories a day over your allotment can had up to 10 pounds a year.

Ouch! that hurt. I'm notorious for looking at a sweet or a treat and saying to myself, "It's only a hundred calories. What harm can it be?"

I can live with my weight where it is, but really don't want to add more. How do I now shift my desire away from my little 100 calorie treats?

I'm not sure what the answer, but it's definitely got me thinking.

Practice What You Preach

2008-12-11T12:21:00.000-08:00

I’ve been very lucky have a source of steady income over the last twenty years. It’s allowed me to do a lot things I wouldn’t have been able to do otherwise; get another degree and start three businesses, for example. Like so many other people around the country, I can no longer count on it to provide what I need to pay my bills. My private practice as a career counselor is slow because people can’t afford the price for individual coaching. I need to find additional sources of income. Last week I spent time thinking about what I’m really good at and where there is a need that I might be able to fill.

While people can’t afford to pay for individual counseling services, I can utilize the current technology to help people at either no cost to them or for a very small investment find work. While this blog is still devoted to retirement life, I want to broaden the scope of what that entails. I will now be talking more about creating income in this new economy. (I started to write “find a job”, but I think people need to throw the doors open to finding income anyway they can-legal and moral ways, of course.)

I read the following this morning. It’s an excerpt from an article that appeared in a silicon valley newspaper discussing the difficulties young people are having finding work right out of college.

"I feel like I put in all the work [in school] to not have a job,"said Jillian Crawford, 25, who's been looking for a marketing jobwith a tech company since she graduated with honors from San JoseState University in June.Ms. Crawford has applied to about 25 marketing jobs withoutreceiving much of a response. She remains committed to finding a jobin Silicon Valley and would be dismayed if she had to lookelsewhere.

This is a problem many college graduates are facing, along with their parents who are having to open their home back up, so these young people don’t end up on the street.

There are no easy answers to the economic and labor problems facing the country right now. I believe, as an individual, if you are willing to put in the time and effort, you can find work.

What else might Jillian do to find a job? The article discussed how companies in silicon valley are more apt to hire people with experience who can hit the ground running. This provides the first clue as to what Ms. Crawford needs to do. It will not help to go back to school to get a graduate degree and it will not benefit her to take a retail job with the hope of getting marketing work later on. What she needs to do is find a way to get experience anyway she can. If that means taking a part time job to pay the bills and volunteering time in marketing, then that what she should do.

Here a some suggestions for Jillian to get experience and exposure. First, she should contact the local chapter of the American Marketing Association. Speaking to the executive director, tell him/her she is a recent graduate with a degree in marketing and she would like to get involved in the organization. She could inquire if they have any programs for recent graduates, or if they have a mentoring program. She can ask for names of members who might provide advice. She can also join in online professional groups such as Linkedin to connect with people in the profession.

Jillian can contact the San Jose State Career Center to see how to get names of alumni. She should start developing a list of people who graduated with a degree in marketing. In addition, review the list of 25 companies she applied to, identify the ten she would most like to work for, and start to contact people from San Jose State who work for these companies.

Arranging for thirty minute meetings, Jillian can explain how she applied for a marketing job, and ask for their advise about becoming a better candidate. Ask them to review her resume. It sounds weak if she didn’t get interviews, and there may be things she can do to spice it up. She wants to talk to as many people as she can asking them for advice, information and referrals (AIR).

She also might contact the local chamber(s) of commerce. She can explain her situation and see if they have suggestions of people she can contact for volunteer or paid work. She can contact independent marketing consultants to see if they need an assistant.

Jillian may also try contacting non-profits in her area and see about volunteering in their marketing department. Organizations still need to get their message out. There will continue to be a need for people with good skills.

She needs to be willing to try other activities besides answering ads. If she is willing to get out, meet people in the profession, do volunteer work to get experience, she will eventually be able to find a job in her field.

Retirement, Six weeks and Counting

2008-11-25T08:57:00.000-08:00

My husband and I have are invited to the party tomorrow of another retiring co-worker. Since my husband was the first of the group to leave, it gave me a moment to pause about the changes in our life since then.

Actually, sleeping in the same bed together has been nice after twenty-five years of sleeping alone. It hasn’t been the adjustment I thought it would be.

We used to eat dinner at 4:00 and have now pushed it back to 5:30. I’m absolutely famished at 4:00, have a snack, which I’m not crazy about.

I hate him sitting in the office during the day while I’m trying to work. BUT, if I haven’t run across him in a couple of hours, I wonder where he is and take off searching. I’ve decided a cute little bell around his neck might be nice. I can always know where he is by his little tinkle.

Oh, and I haven’t watch HGTV in a month. It was my time filler. You know, those moments when you don’t know what to do and you’re too lazy to find something, so it’s easy to sit down, turn on the TV and veg.

Update

2008-11-24T14:07:00.000-08:00

Yes, we finally got the phone back. It was a simple switch that needed to be changed at the back of our house. OMG, I can't believe all that hassle. I guess the new world of technology is difficult for all of us, even those who work in it.

If someone asked me if I had a good life, I would have to say yes. I'm not one of those people who walk outside looking for a brick to fall on my head. But, this is getting uncanny. Our six year old tv died yesterday. Notice what I said-six years old! It's not like it's even on all of the time. As you can see it's huge.I'm not sure what I hate more, paying for a new tv or putting this one in a landfill somewhere.

The repairman said it was a blown color tube and they can' be replaced. My husband found some on e-bay, but the repairman said it would cost $500 to install each of the three tubes.

This is ridiculous. I'm really not taking it too personally-really, but doesn't it bother you that a television that is six years old died, can't be fixed and has to be thrown in the junk heap? This wasn't a cheap television. It just seems to me that something has to change. I'm not sure where or how, but something has to change.

Can You Hear Me NOW?

2008-11-17T20:06:00.000-08:00

Raise your hand if you still use a landline phone. I'm guessing the only people who raise their hand are those who are over thirty-five.

I was a late adopter of the cell phone. They caught me at an in-between phase. My children were out of the house, so I didn't need to keep track of them. I worked from home and I didn't do a lot of driving in the city. I finally got a cell phone two years ago. Rumor has it I was the last person in Southern California to actually own one.

I'm still not wired. I only give the cell number to family members and if I'm meeting someone for coffee. The number isn't on my business card and I'd rather leave it that way. I don't even have a camera on my cell. The worst part is I only have 450 minutes a month.

I have been without my landline phone for thirteen days. Ugh! I won't go into detail about how it happened. Suffice it to say, we were trying to streamline our operation, acquire fiber optics and eliminate a second phone line. Somehow there was a SNAFU and I'm in a desparate situation.

I've used up all my cell phone minutes and have spent at least two hours a day on the phone with Verizon trying to get it resolved. Tech support has been very pleasant, apologetic and unable to solve the problem. The worst thing about the whole situation is I can never talk to the same person twice. So every single time I call the toll-free number, I have to explain the situation all over again.

My husband admires my ability to stay cool and calm. I got emotional last Wednesday and the tech hung up on me. I've learned that they are the link to my getting a number and I'm nice or else.

Now, in the total horrors that is occurring in the world right now, I realize that being without a phone seems really petty. On the other hand, there are certain things we expect in life. A phone is one of them.

What the Elderly Really Think

2008-11-14T08:43:00.000-08:00

I had one final presentation scheduled, which was last night. I was a bit nervous about this one. It was promoted to baby boomers and their parents, but was held in an independent/assisted living facility. I knew most of the attendees were going to be older than the baby boomers I normally talk to.

What was I going to say? My normal words of wisdom seemed silly and trite to this group. As I was setting up and they were getting comfortable, I overheard one lady say, “I’d like to know the myths about retirement.”

“Ah, ha, that’s where I’ll start,” I concluded.

After a wonderful introduction, I asked, “What are the myths about retirement and aging?” What followed was a lively discussion of the misperception and irritations that are felt by the over 50 and 75 crowd. Ultimately, the myths that life is either a ‘happy ever after’ stroll on the beach or a immediate collapse into physical decline are both inaccurate. We all agreed with the frustration that advertisers and manufactures have written us off unless it is for drugs or medical related items.

We concluded that life after work and raising a family is neither better nor worse than it had been before. It is different. What surprised me was the amount of passion they displayed. There was a desire these people had to let the world know they have thoughts, feelings and lives as profound as younger people.

I have created a model for meaningful aging. We spent the rest of our time discussing the model. I asked for their opinions about what I had researched. They agreed with the concepts I presented. They also provided some additional thoughts, I hadn’t considered.

For example, I discuss how staying connected is so important as we get older. The youngster of the group, a 62 year old who is recovering from a stroke, shared how being connected can be a detriment. She has been welcomed into the community, but is much younger than the other residents. She feels a need to push herself, get back to work, develop new relationships and take risks. She confided how the residents had embraced her and provided a wonderfully safe place to be and how hard it was to leave that environment to go back into the world.

My grandparents had all died before I was born, so I didn’t grow up around elderly people. As a result, I always felt slightly uncomfortable in their presence. In the last couple of years, in part because of my work, I’ve been around more people who are in their eighties and above. Guess what? They’re just like us. They have charm, wit, humor, and insight. They want to be valued and acknowledged.

While I started off feeling a bit nervous, the night proved to be delightful. We all shared and participated. It was a wonderful experience.

Back from the...

2008-11-12T14:19:00.000-08:00

After two weeks of presentations and conferences, life is returning to normal. Or not.

One of the things I encourage new retirees to do is establish a routine. If you want to sleep until 9:00, read the paper over a leisurely breakfast, that’s fine. Be consistent. A routine brings order and makes it easier to explore and create a new life.

My husband is establishing somewhat of a routine. After twenty-five years of working nights, I was concerned he would get up at 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning, be up for a few hours and then back to bed for another few hours. That was normal when he had a vacation.

As soon as he retired, he forced himself to stay in bed and sleep through the night. He’s avoided the temptation of taking naps in the day, which would make the previous scenario harder to do.

I wasn’t expecting my own routine to be so disrupted. It’s totally thrown me in a tailspin. I normally wake at 6:00 am and changing from daylight savings time hasn’t helped, since I now wake at 4:00, 4:30 or 5:00. The plan is to fix a cup of coffee, go in the office, read emails, take quiet time to journal, mediate and read inspirational books. This is followed by thirty minutes of yoga, and then breakfast spent reading the paper. All of this occurred before my husband arrived home from work.

I struggle with my morning now. I’m not fitting my quiet or yoga time into the schedule. We take a walk every morning, so that helps, but I’m still not in the flow.

I knew our evening habits would change. We’ve gone from eating dinner at 4:00 to 5:30-6:00. Of course, that has affected my working after dinner.

None of this is my husband’s fault. It’s not that he demands I cook him breakfast or anything like that. In fact, he’s just a dream, for the most part. He’s doing most of the cleaning, laundry and a lot of cooking. He keeps himself busy and doesn’t try to take me away from my activities. But, he’s around, when he wasn’t before. That presence has changed things.

The Times, They are 'a Changin'

2008-10-28T07:19:00.000-07:00

I just read about a man who was recently laid off after working for a food company as a salesman for twenty-four years at The Boomer Chronicles.

The first time I was confronted, as a career counselor, with this type of situation, was in the early 90’s. I was called in to speak to a group of laid off aerospace workers who had lost their jobs during the post cold war defense downsizing. They were all men, mostly professionals, engineers, accountants and managers. The loss they felt was inconsolable.

It was the beginning of trend that continues today. Prior to that time, it was common for blue collar workers to be laid off. That marked the beginning of lay offs of professions. A trend that continues to this day.

A few years later, I went through a similar situation. With a partner, I started a career center. I had arrived. I had become who I wanted to become. Then one day, she proclaimed she wanted to dissolve the partnership. I was devastated.

People don’t understand. Yes, you lose you livelihood and that’s scary as can be. Many people also lose their sense of identity. We are a society that defines ourselves by our work and as wage earners. If you take that away, there is a complete lose of self.

It’s hard to recover, but people do. People can move to the other side and discover a whole new way of being. They do find other jobs and move on. It’s not easy. It can be incredibly painful.

I fell into a depression that lasted eighteen months. Slowly, I learned about a process I now teach to help people heal and become whole again.

The next few years are going to test the resiliency of a lot of people. Dreams and expectations are going to be challenged. Ultimately, we’re going to have to learn how to function with less than we imagined.

In all of this, there is still opportunity. There is opportunity to come together as families and communities. There is opportunity to reevaluate what is truly important to individuals and to our country. There is an opportunity to redefine work and its role in our lives. I’m hoping there is also an opportunity for companies to redefine what they are all about. Is there something beyond the bottom line? Stay tuned.

Happy Retirement

2008-10-27T14:45:00.001-07:00

Half Full Glass

2008-10-23T09:08:00.000-07:00

I just finished sweeping the chards of glass off the floor. My beloved gallon jar used for making sun tea slipped from my fingers as I reached to take it out of the refrigerator. Of course, my first reaction was, “Oh, sh..!”

As my husband arrived with the vacuum to retrieve the slivers, I commented, “At least it wasn’t full of tea.”

He then responded in his sardonic voice, “There you go again seeing the glass (in this case jar) is always half full.”

I am a half-full kind of gal. I write this as I sit with a sewer system that is backed up since yesterday, waiting for the beloved “Joe the Plummer” to come replace the fifty year old sewer pipes. My husband cleared the hillside they have dig up early this week. We’re intending to replant with drought tolerant plants. The good news is we haven’t planted yet, so they aren’t going to have to distroy new bushes and shrubs.

Last year we our flight to Lisbon was cancelled. We didn’t get a new flight for twelve hours. As a result, we arrived in Lisbon at 10:00 in the morning instead of 4:00 in the afternoon. Had we arrived at 4:00, we would have had to try to find our hotel in Evora, fifty miles away in the dark. Initial disappointment turned into a godsend.

Psychologists now think people are either born with an optimistic or pessimistic disposition. I have long given up trying to figure what part of our personality is choice or predetermined by genetics. I feel blessed that no matter how bad the circumstance, I’m ultimately able to find the silver lining.

Successful Aging

2008-10-21T10:18:00.000-07:00

What does aging successfully look like? For me, it means being able to stay active, engaged and healthy until the end. Fantasy? Impossible? High unlikely, you say?

Actually, according to a massive multi-disciplined study sponsored by the MacArthur Foundation, it’s not far-fetched. John W. Rowe, M.D. and Robert L. Kahn, Ph.D. document the study and results in the book Successful Aging. This is easy reading and very informational, designed to change our ideas about what aging is all about.

The primary conclusions are the older we get, the less genetics plays a role and the more environment and lifestyle choices matter. That’s the good and bad news. You can’t just blame your parents any more. I think we have to tread carefully not to blame the victim, but we have control over our aging.

Another important finding is the body starts to repair itself immediately from poor choices. I was a smoker most of my adult life. In the ten years since I quit smoking, my chances of getting heard disease and stroke have diminished to the same as someone who never smoked. If I survive another five years of not getting lung cancer, my chances of getting it the future are the same as someone who never smoked.

No matter what you’ve done, you get a second chance. That’s certainly not permission to make poor choices, just because you can reverse the effects. However, since most of us have eaten poorly, and over indulged in many substances through the years, it’s nice to know you can start right now to make positive changes.

The most important thing you can do, besides quitting smoking if you still do, is to get off the couch and start moving, according to the study. It’s more important to get exercise than what you eat, or drink. Physical activity helps your body, your mental functioning, and you emotional well-being. You can start small and whatever changes you make, will have a positive impact on your life.

I highly recommend this book to everyone who is making the transition into elderhood, however you define it. I guarantee you’ll learn something that you can easily implement into you life to enhance you aging successfully.

Night on the Town

2008-10-17T09:26:00.000-07:00

I went to see Ed Bagley Jr. last night. It was actually a monumental event. For twenty-five years, if I wanted to do something in the evening, I had to go alone or call a girl friend. It was the first time my husband and I did something together in the evening on a weekday. That was nice.

Ed Bagley Jr you're asking. Both my husband and I are interested in environmental issues. We are certainly not hard-core environmentalist, as I've mentioned before. The talk was sponsored by the Discovery Center which promotes the love of science.

I was a bit concerned Ed Bagley Jr had become a caricature of himself. The green geek riding along the Los Angeles roads on his bicycle oblivious to the realities of city living. I actually found him to be passionate, which I knew, incredibly informed on all aspects of the environmental world and surprisingly apolitical.

This man has been in the environmental game for a long time and has learned to handle himself deftly in a crowd. He was speaking to the choir, but I got the feeling he would have been equally adept with group of coal burning utility owners.

For example, he didn't spend a lot of time talking about the climate change. Instead, he focused on the age-old concerns of water and air pollution. Remember those.

He wasn't all doom and gloom. He stated we were making lots of headway in these areas. For example, Los Angeles has four times as many cars on the road as it did in the 1970's, but one-half the pollution. That's progress. He also discussed the rivers that have been cleaned up in the twenty-five years, without negating the work that still needs to be done.

Morro Bay

2008-10-15T15:09:00.000-07:00

My husband and I returned from a few days at Morro Bay on the central California Coast. It was perfect. The weather was mild. We spend most of our time looking at birds; pelicans, heron, egrets and of course, sea gulls. Sea lions entertained tourists and annoyed the locals. At least six otters guarded the entry to the bay. We took hundreds of photos. I love digital cameras!!!!

We didn’t watch the news once, but did peak at the newspaper that was delivered everyday to our doorstep. There is something so amazing about being in nature. Whether it’s walking in a forest or sitting by the beach, it’s so much harder to be anxious, angry or fearful. Nature is like taking a tranquilizer. Whether it helps put everything in perspective, or the sounds and sights calm the nervous system, it’s easier to be in the moment and not fret about what’s going on.

We know one thing for sure. The current financial situation isn’t going to be over this week or next. If you find yourself feeling more stressed than normal, find the time to take a walk in nature.

Finance as Entertainment Doesn't Work

2008-10-07T15:01:00.000-07:00

My friend picked me up this morning to go paint. She announced the long deserved trip she was planning with her husband up to Napa was put on hold. He's freaking out about the markets. Later, in class she mentioned the first thing she does when she gets up in the morning is turn on the tv to see what is happening on the markets. Turn it OFF!

We're all scared. And yes, it is a bit like watching a wreck. It becomes hypnotizing. Just because it's compelling, doesn't mean it's healthy and we need to do it.

I worked through three or four major recessions as a career counselor. In fact, my husband was unemployed during the recession of 1982. I used to tell clients to not open the paper. In those days, one needed the paper to look at the want ads. Our little brains just love to buy into the concept of 'the sky is falling.'

The sky may be falling. Our job is to stay calm. Let it run it's course and then figure out what to do. Allowing yourself to get crazy doesn't help you and it doesn't help the country.

Retirement Begins

2008-10-06T14:10:00.000-07:00

I started this blog as a way to share my own journey as my husband makes the transition into retirement. At the same time, I wanted to share whatever words of wisdom I have about this process. It’s an interesting tightrope to walk between sharing who you are and what you know.

On Monday, the stock market took and nose dive. Tuesday was my husband’s last day of work-as we know it. It’s a little intimidating to start this transition at the same time as the financial world seems to be in a tailspin. Realistically, if he and I are to live to the ripe old ages we plan, this was going to happen eventually.

Neither one of us have looked at our 401K’s. We’re not nervous. More pensive. Just trying to take it all in.

I wish people wouldn’t ask me how I like him being retired. It’s been one week. For 25 years, he’s taken at least one vacation a year where he’s hung out and did fix-it around the house. It still feels like he’s on vacation.

I’ll let you know how I like him being retired in six months.

Warren Buffet Quote

2008-10-01T17:11:00.000-07:00

There is a new biography being released about Warren Buffet. There are numerous stories about how he has chosen not to leave his children any inheritance. This is not quite accurate. In his wife's will, the children were given $10 million dollars each and Warren gives them $1 million every five years. He is quoted as saying (I love this), "I wanted to leave my children enough money so they could do anything, but not so much as they could do nothing."

Meet Linda

2008-09-17T17:34:00.000-07:00

As I search for a sense of the direction with this blog, one thing stands out that I want accomplish. Many people refuse to view aging as an indictment. They’re stepping up to the plate, taking on huge personal challenges and making a difference in the world. We’re going highlight to these individuals because they deserve it, but also to inspire and motivate the rest of us to do something.

I’m starting with someone who is taking on a challenge only a few of us would even fantasize about. Part of the reason I want to showcase her is our dreams are often too small. It’s important to step the dreams up a notch and pick something that is worth doing.

Linda has definitely done that. She is my daughter in-law’s aunt and I only recently learned of her quest. It certainly is worth knowing about and supporting. Linda has committed to run 7 marathons on 7 continents in one year. The audacity of this boggles my mind. I’m also intrigued and excited for her.

Linda has already run five of the seven marathons. Visit her website and let her know you’re rooting for her.

More Insight

2008-09-12T07:05:00.000-07:00

After I posted the blog yesterday, I had another insight of why I was feeling overwhelmed. I struggle at a lot of things, but personal insight isn't one of them.

I'm new to blogging. I started because I want to share my journey, connect to others, share the concepts of Retirment Life Matters, and realistically use it as a marketing tool. Blogging is just one small piece of the overall pie for me.

As I started reading other blogs, I was amazed by the content, both the quality and the frequency, the traffic, and the business aspect of it. The blogs I hold especially in esteem are
WomenBloom-I just met Allison, but she finds time to write about the hurricane that is coming. And then there is The Boomer Chronicles . She must have a 100 blogs on her blogroll. Of course, there are many more I've run across over the last three months, but my favorite is Fat Fighter TV. Not only does she add incredible content every day, she is very focused on her mission and finds time to comment on most of my entries.

There was a shift that occurred in me. Instead of using these other blogs as inspiration, I started using them as my standard. When my shifted my focus from my own intent to trying to be as good as them, I lost myself and became overwhelmed.

Once I realized what I was doing, I could shift back to my own internal compass. I want to share my own journey, the growth or RLM and hopefully spotlight boomers who are making a difference in the world. I'm going to stop being concerned about having to post every day and all the other things that were driving me crazy.

Honoring the Day

2008-09-11T06:36:00.000-07:00

I’ve been feeling really overwhelmed the last couple of weeks. Hence, the reason I haven’t been writing in the blog. There are a couple of reasons for this.

The first and most obvious is I’m not living in the present. In this present moment, my life is serene. I don’t want to sound absurd, but it is. It’s 6:20 am, light is just starting to creep over the horizon. I’m sitting at my desk, with a warm cup coffee, David Arkenstone plays in the background and the world is right.

If I take my eye off the moment, and survey the future, the to-do list, I realize I can’t do all the things I want to do, all the things I say I need to do. At that moment, the serenity is lost, and I start to panic.

When I decided to share this feeling in the blog, I was reminded today is the anniversary of 9/11. One the results of that tragic day were people took a breath, gathered with their loved ones and questioned what is important.

As I sit here in the still of the morning, I think it’s important for me, to ask the same question. My work is very important me, but what is the vision of what I want to do? It’s not about this blog, or a newsletter or setting up a presentation to conduct a workshop.

It is about all of us finding and living from our own personal vision of who we want to be in the world. What we do should really come from that vision.

Today, as you go about your business, don’t just think about the tragedy of this day. Think about the lesson and the opportunity that came from the horror to reconnect to our loved ones and commit to what is truly important.

21 Days and counting

2008-09-08T20:01:00.000-07:00

We had a retirement test run last week. My husband was on vacation, but we didn’t do anything. I had a lot of work to do and we’re waiting to travel until the end of the year.

We have twenty-one days until his retirement. I know it will be fine, but I don’t have any illusions that it’s going to be happy ever after. I’m the ultimate optimist, but I’m also a pragmatist.

He’s taking on more of the cooking and washing dishes-yes. He’s done most of the laundry for years. I can thank the Denver Broncos for that, since Sunday is laundry day. He’ll help with the cleaning, but I don’t thing we’ll have that meticulous Better Homes and Garden house.

In return, I have someone to sleep with every night for the first time in many years. I kind of looking forward to it and not. I have to give up the remote-I think I complained about that before.
Even though I help others go through this transition, the fact is, I love my life the way it is right now. I’m reasonably sure, I will love the next phase also, but it’s true, we get to a stage of life, where we get comfortable and don’t seek change for the fun of it.

You're Invited to an Artist Reception

2008-08-27T16:54:00.001-07:00

If you live in Southern California, you're invited to an artist reception on Friday, September 5, 2008 at the Thousand Oaks Community Gallery 2331 Borchard Rd., Newbury Park, CA.

My painting entitled 'Memories of the Rainforest' will be on display along with 30 other artists who study with Phyl Doyon. I have a special offer for 'Memories of the Rainforest'. The painting is 27" X 33" Framed. It is for sale at $500.00. The net proceeds of $400.00 will be donated in YOUR name to the World Wildlife Fund. You get the painting and the deduction. Email me if you're interested in the painting.

I hope to see your there.

Coincidence?

2008-08-25T13:47:00.000-07:00

Phyllis Chase

Last Thursday night I went to a Ladies Who Launch presentation featuring Gina Ratliffe who talked about building an Online Empire. Great stuff!!! Later, at home I looked at the websites of the people who had written testimonials about Gina. I left the page open to Phyllis Chase, Marriage & Family Therapist and talk show host.

The next morning, I was reading an email from Chellie Campbell, another awesome lady who talks about Financial Stress Reduction. At the bottom of her email were testimonials and another one from Phyllis Chase. “Hmmmm,” I thought, “That’s interesting.” I’ve lived long enough in this area of 9 million people to know that it is a small town. But, this was too weird.

I sent Phyllis an email, told her the story and a little bit about me and Retirement Life Matters. She wrote back, and asked if I would be a guest on her radio show that taped this morning (Monday A.M.).

I just got home a few minutes ago. We had a ball. She was delightful and put me completely at ease, since it was my first radio interview.

Opportunities surround us everyday. The key is to open our eyes to them and then follow-through.

Have you had a crazy coincidence and took advantage of it?

Talking of Death

2008-08-22T15:01:00.000-07:00

I was looking for inspiration today, so I went to Boomer Chronicles and read a post about funerals-check it out.

I think we need to have more stories about death. Sometimes it’s tragic and horrible, but it’s always a part of life. We just can’t get away from it.

My dad struggled with cancer for 10 years. It was amazing, because he was able to function right up to the end. He wanted to die in his own bed, no tubes and all of that stuff.

He called my mom home from her work on Thursday. They sat peacefully on the couch all afternoon holding hands. They were sleeping is separate rooms and the next morning my mom went to check on him. This sounds gruesome, but she didn’t know if he was alive or dead.

Her worst fear was to call the EMT’s, have them come and try reviving him. So, she called the local funeral home to ask them how to tell if someone was dead. They replied with, “Hey, lady, by the time we get them, there’s no question.” Ultimately, she was able to determine that he was gone.

I was so proud. He struggled for so many years, but ultimately was able to die on his terms.

Are you Present?

2008-08-21T16:20:00.000-07:00

This is a bit complicated, but stay with the story. I participated in “The New Earth” class with Eckhart Tolle on the Oprah Website earlier in the year. The were a number of things I took from the series. I’ve tried to incorporate one in my life, which is the concept of being present. Most us have very active minds that are either focused on the past; what happened, what didn’t happened, old wounds, what coulda’, shoulda’ been or the future; what we need to do, our dreams, how our life is going to be better when such and such happens, etc.

Tolle says that all we really have is the present and if you want joy in your life, you’re only going to find in the present moment. Actually, he is not only one to say it, but he says it in a wonderful way and has Oprah to help him.

So, I’m trying to be present. I’m one of those people with an over active mind. I gave up trying to meditate over thirty years ago. When Tolle instructed that to be present all I had to do was focus on one breath, I decided I could do that. Throughout my day, I focus on my breath and become present. This occurs about 12 times a day. So, for about 12 minutes a day, I'm absolutely present in the moment. The rest of the time my brain is going a million miles an hour, forward, backwards and to parts unknown.

The second part of the story is we have a spa in our backyard. My husband, who works the night shift, likes to come home and go into the spa. We decided a few weeks ago to shut the spa off when it’s not in use to cut back on energy usage. It takes about one hour to heat up.

All I have to do is get up in the morning and turn on the spa. Do you think I can remember to do that? I took a post it with ‘SPA’ written on it. Originally, I stuck it on the sliding glass door because I have my morning cup of coffee on the patio. That worked one day and then my mind was busy with other things, and I didn’t see the note. Next, I placed it on the Tolle book. That certainly would work, don't you think? Actually, it worked for two days and then I didn’t notice it. Now, the note is the microwave where I heat the water for coffee. I’ve succeeded two days in row. So much for the quest of being present. I’ll keep you posted.

DarynKagan.com

2008-08-20T09:08:00.000-07:00

Wednesday Web Watch

I’m a bit of a Pollyanna. Let me qualify that. Last year my husband and I saw a report about a church that encourages people to go 21 days without complaining. We couldn’t do it. In fact, neither on of us could make it 20 minutes. It was very quiet around the house while we were trying.

With that said, I would much rather surround myself with positive versus negative energy. I would rather be around people who are trying to improve the world rather than just talk about how bad it is. Do I measure up to my own expectations? Not at all. That doesn’t mean I don’t keep trying.

I love the idea spreading good news. CBS Sunday Morning is my favorite television program for that very reason. Daryn Kagan is committed to spreading good news wherever she finds it. The site is uplifting, inspiring and motivating. Daryn was a reporter who got tired of the news concept of “if it bleeds, it leads”. The Internet allows her to share the good news of the world.

Share web sites that make you feel good, inspire or motivate.