A Time for Stairs

I’ve previously commented on what menopause does to muscle tone. The phrase “use it or lose it,” personifies certainly my body’s experience over the last ten years. I was aware of the need to take care of myself in a more concerted effort and embarked on a journey to find an exercise regime that I enjoyed. Growing up I was the kid who was always last…

After a number of gym memberships, classes at the rec center, I found a yoga instructor on t.v. that I liked and committed to thirty minutes a day. In addition, my husband and I walk two times a day for about mile each. Not strenuous, but it gets outside the heart pumps for a few minutes.

About six months ago, I did something to my shoulders. It has been diagnosed as bursitis, but so far has not improved. I can’t raise either arm above my shoulder and if I move in a certain way, there is a searing pain that runs through my shoulders. As a result, I stopped doing my yoga. While yoga didn’t build muscle, I felt like I wasn’t losing ground. Since then, it’s been a race against time to see if I’m going to heal before I turn into a mass of cellular mush.

My husband and I are currently staying at a time-share in Northern Carolina. I will share our week as we explore the area as a tourist and as a potential place to retire.

Our condominium is two stories. At first, I was hesitant about the stairs. After the red eye from LA to Atlanta yesterday, the last thing I wanted to do was bounce up and down stairs. As I sat upstairs in the living room so my husband could take a nap downstairs in the bedroom, it occurred to me that stairs is exactly what I need in my life right now.

Because, there were so many exercises I couldn’t do in yoga, I stopped even though there isn’t anything wrong with my legs. The walking every day is okay, but doesn’t push muscle development.

For the next seven days, those stairs are my friend. Up and down I go. It may be a strange place to start a vacation journey, but it’s what you get on Saturday morning.

Retirement Homes, Communities: The Good, Bad and the Ugly

Retirement Life Matters was created to help the baby boomer transition into retirement (however you want to define it.) Because we don’t live in a vacuum, it becomes necessary to broaden the discussion.

My mother is an active eighty three year old. She left her condo a few years ago to move back into a house. In fact, moving is what my mom does best. Within months of finding a new home, she finds she isn’t happy and starts scouring for greener pastures.

Unfortunately, her memory is becoming problem. She lives a thousand miles from the nearest family member, so we’re trying to come to a collective decision as to what is the next best living situation for her.

When I grew up, people lived in their own homes until they couldn’t function by themselves anymore. Then, they either moved in with a family member or went to a nursing home. That was the term we grew up with and was the only option when people got older.

In today’s world, there are many more choices. Unfortunately, the terms can be confusing. What’s independent living versus assisted or continuing care? Here are the definitions.

I received a promotional DVD in the mail yesterday marketing a local senior Continuing Care Retirement Community. I lamented at the challenge over getting my mother to consider this type of arrangement.

It occurred to me that our parents’ generation grew up with the concept of nursing homes being the place elders were warehoused when they could no longer function. While there is a wide range of new choices, the image of being shuttered off prevails.

My godfather still lives in his home of fifty years refusing to consider any other options. He is lonely and bored, but in his case, refuses to leave familiar surroundings.

I would love suggestions of how children talk to their elderly parents about moving to these newer environments.

Baby Boomer Retirement: Interesting Statistics

The recent economic downturn has changed the retirement landscape for many of the boomer generation. Recent results from the California Budget Project indicate, once again, that we need to redefine 'retire.'

While the report focused on Californians, it reflects trends across the country.

The report findings:

From 1995 to 2008, the employment rate increased almost 10 percent for those aged 55 to 64. Almost 63 percent of people remain in the workforce at 64.

For women from age 55 to 69, the employment rate rose 12 percentage points to 49 percent. Over 60 percent of men, age 55 to 69 remained employed.

The idea of not working after 65 is shifting. A number of factors were sited as the cause. The rising cost of living and healthcare affect people’s decision to work. Likewise, many workers don’t have adequate savings or pensions to see them to the end of life.

There are other reasons people continue to work. Improved health, along with the longer life span has allowed willing workers to stay on the job longer. More people have jobs that are not physically demanding. People want to stay connected, active and engaged.

Of those who want to continue working, many want to change aspects of their jobs. As many as two-thirds want to do something different. They want work that is less stressful and allows them to spend more time with their family. Many want work where they feel they are making a contribution.

Retirement was formerly thought as a time of ending and closure. Baby boomers now see retirement age as an opportunity for a new beginning. They want the opportunity to start a new life journey.

Good-bye Rochelle

I just received an email that my friend Rochelle died last week from a long battle with cancer. Rochelle and I went through the same career counseling program. She went a number of years after me, but we met, and became friends.

Last year she attended my Retirement Life Matters Workshop. She liked the work and decided to join me. While she was never very healthy, she was able to be my muse. I looked forward to our monthly luncheons where we would bat ideas around. She had amazing insight. It was through her support and effort that I was able to complete the 7 Ingredients for a Satisfying Retirement.

We were on the program committee for the last International Career Development Conference, held in November. At the last minute, she decided she wasn’t well enough to attend. I have a plaque I was going to give her in appreciation for the work she’d done on the committee.

The reason I’m sharing this with you is I want to honor Rochelle, her life and her fight with cancer. Not only am I sad that she is gone, but more disappointed that I haven’t seen her since last fall. We talked and tried to schedule a time to meet. Between being busy and her chemo, there was always a reason not to get together. Now she’s gone.

This is a reminder to all of us that no matter how active we are to take the time to connect with the important people in our lives.

Death is part of the cycle. Rochelle fought as valiantly as anyone I’ve ever known. I knew she was very ill, but I always figured I’d have another week where we could get together. That opportunity is now gone forever.

Fruits and Vegetables

It’s been tough to write during the last three weeks. You see, I started a new job. I’m a home-based consultant for Right Management, helping people who have recently been laid off with their job search. The great thing is I get to continue to work from home. In order to manage telecommuters, there are a myriad of policies, procedures and documentation. So far, there are eight separate and unique websites I have to learn. Of course, each has its own log in and password.

For the most part, I like the work. After one day, we started working with clients and I now have ten. They are from all over the country, from different industries and professions. I find them to be enthusiastic, positive and accepting of my help. That’s saying a lot in this economic climate.

I’m going to let you in on a secret that I covered up well in my interview. I was crazy busy before I took the job, and now I’m barely hanging on by thread. Once I get through the thirty-two hours of training, it should be more manageable.

We have this interesting shift that has occurred in our family. I’ve always been busy, but my husband was also busy. I’m working seven days a week. He’s retired. Therefore, he’s having to take more household responsibility. Bless him, he’s doing that. He’s cooking, doing dishes, and laundry.

I sent him to the store to buy the week’s groceries, with my ATM card, no less. Deep breath. I told him he couldn’t spend more than $150 (this will last two weeks). He did good, and stayed below his budget. I was helping putting away the groceries and commented, “I see you didn’t spend much time in the fruits and vegetables.”

Quite innocently, he responded, “Yes, I did. I bought canned corn, beans, peas and tomatoes.” The men who read this might not see the humor, but most women will read this and chuckle.

Here’s the dilemma. I can do it all myself. I can criticize what he’s done, so he becomes angry and resentful at trying to help out. Or, I can keep my mouth shut. This is what happens when you enter retirement. Whether I’m working or not, I want him to participate in the chores around the house. At some level, I have to back off and not dictate how I want it done.

I'd love to hear other stories of how men help out around the house after retirement.

Relationship Guru

Times of financial instability and transitions, such as retirement or job change can wreak havoc on relationships. Unfortunately, by the time most people get to therapy, the bond is broken.

Stephen Frueh is a coach and educator who is passionate about building effective relationships. Whether your relationship is in trouble or you just want to improve it, Stephen has a wealth of information at http://www.marriageconversation.com/

Help a Small Business

I’ve been so impressed with the creative things businesses are doing to lure us into using them. My favorite art supply company, Cheap Joes offers free shipping on all orders. The local Cineplex sent a postcard offering two movie tickets for the price of one, plus a free 46 oz popcorn with purchase of a soda every Tuesday during the month of March. What a deal!

We got a huge wake-up call last fall. There are certainly people in this country who are in dire straights, losing homes and jobs. Those of us who aren’t affected directly know someone who is or are afraid because of the situation.

The good news is the savings has shifted from a negative rate to over 8%. This is in part a good thing. BUT, if we totally button up and stop spending completely, we’ll collectively send the economy into the depression everyone is talking about.

Most people don’t realize that small business is the backbone of our country. Over the last twenty years, small business has had the most job growth. While the large corporations have been losing jobs, small companies have been growing.

I want to start a campaign to help a small business. As you go through your week, identify a small business you can go out of your way to support. It can be an artisan, independent farmer, retail establishment, or service provider.

I painted last Tuesday. There’s a gentleman that comes by every week to wash cars. My first inclination was to say no and save the $20.00. Then, I stopped. That $20.00 isn’t going to kill me, but it’s going to mean a lot to him.

Since then, I’ve done a lot of thinking about the economy. We can buy into the nightly news of how horrible it is, weave a cocoon, and try to hibernate. Or we can declare we are going to do everything to be positive, supportive and make a contribution to the world we live in.

I love being connected to the amazing small business people on the Internet, so I want to start a viral campaign to shift the energy and momentum in a new direction. Will you help?