Family Finances Part Two

As I mentioned in a previous post, we scheduled a family meeting to discuss money. Not everyone made it this year, but a process was started that I plan on continuing.

We have one daughter and one son. My husband and I try to split everything equally. Unfortunately, we made a bad decision (I think) by making them co-executors of our estate, should something happen to us simultaneously.

My husband was executor of his mother’s estate and there was a lot of paperwork to fill out and sign. He was in a different state than the attorney, so it was challenge. My children live in different states and I don’t think we’ve done them any favors by making them co-executors. We don’t have a resolution. I hoping they will discuss it and help us decide what to do.

My son brought up concerns about making the mortgage payment if we’re not around. I thought that was a good question, but couldn’t provide an answer. We’re going to discuss it with our financial person to find out the answer.

Every family I know struggles over family estates. I know of more than one family where siblings and parents stopped talking to each other over money. I don’t know if we can prevent that from happening. I glad we had a family meeting.

About Retirement Guilt

Retirement is an interesting transition regardless of how it occurs. A couple rarely retires at the same time. Even if they do, there’s a shift that occurs. In our case, my husband retired in the fall and I continue to work from home.

Yesterday, he decided to work in the flower beds in the backyard. That had been my domain for years, but I just don’t have the time to keep it up. I felt guilty as I watched him lug bags of bark, pull weeds and clear winter clutter. At the same time, I wanted to control what he did and how things took shape. Plus, I wanted to be outside on the beautiful spring day.

In the end, I walked out once an hour for a five minute break. Then I would go back to the dungeon to work.

A Time for Stairs

I’ve previously commented on what menopause does to muscle tone. The phrase “use it or lose it,” personifies certainly my body’s experience over the last ten years. I was aware of the need to take care of myself in a more concerted effort and embarked on a journey to find an exercise regime that I enjoyed. Growing up I was the kid who was always last…

After a number of gym memberships, classes at the rec center, I found a yoga instructor on t.v. that I liked and committed to thirty minutes a day. In addition, my husband and I walk two times a day for about mile each. Not strenuous, but it gets outside the heart pumps for a few minutes.

About six months ago, I did something to my shoulders. It has been diagnosed as bursitis, but so far has not improved. I can’t raise either arm above my shoulder and if I move in a certain way, there is a searing pain that runs through my shoulders. As a result, I stopped doing my yoga. While yoga didn’t build muscle, I felt like I wasn’t losing ground. Since then, it’s been a race against time to see if I’m going to heal before I turn into a mass of cellular mush.

My husband and I are currently staying at a time-share in Northern Carolina. I will share our week as we explore the area as a tourist and as a potential place to retire.

Our condominium is two stories. At first, I was hesitant about the stairs. After the red eye from LA to Atlanta yesterday, the last thing I wanted to do was bounce up and down stairs. As I sat upstairs in the living room so my husband could take a nap downstairs in the bedroom, it occurred to me that stairs is exactly what I need in my life right now.

Because, there were so many exercises I couldn’t do in yoga, I stopped even though there isn’t anything wrong with my legs. The walking every day is okay, but doesn’t push muscle development.

For the next seven days, those stairs are my friend. Up and down I go. It may be a strange place to start a vacation journey, but it’s what you get on Saturday morning.

Staff of Life

I’m not a big bread eater. I don’t eat much because the stuff you get in stores is tasteless paste. I love to travel to other countries and reconnect to what bread is supposed to taste like.

I used to make bread, but I don’t have time for all the mixing, kneading, rising and baking that has to take place. In addition, I end up with two loaves of bread that will most likely get moldy before my husband and I can consume it. Because I make a big pot of homemade soup every week, it would be so nice to have fresh bread or rolls to go with it once in awhile.

A few weeks ago, I was listening to a NPR show, The Splendid Table as they replayed a show where the host discussed the book Artisan Bread in Five Minutes a Day: The Discovery That Revolutionizes Home Baking

Oh my gosh, this is the most amazing thing I’ve encountered in years. The artisan bread is easy to make and you only have to bake as much as you want for your meal. On top of that, there is no kneading, so it only takes a few minutes to make.

You combine the four ingredients; flour, water, yeast and salt together. Let it rise in a warm place for a couple of hours, then put it in the refrigerator. Anytime you want bread over the next two weeks, cut a grapefruit size chunk from the bowl, shape it and throw it in a 350 degree oven and in thirty minutes you have a little slice of heaven; piping hot, full of flavor and substance.

I’m only on my first batch, so I don’t know if it works with whole wheat flour and I’m haven’t considered the extra calories that I’m consuming. For a special treat, it certainly has been a pleasure.

Pedometers and Paintings

I’ve never been big on resolutions per se. They just always seemed negative, a set up for failure, and I have enough of those that I don’t need to go looking for more.

I do love the whole New Year thing of a clean slate, new dreams, goals, clearing clutter and starting over. That is something I take advantage of.

I started writing my goals down in earnest ten years ago. I missed a couple of years, but with my husband retiring, I felt that, not only did I need to set my own goals, but we as a couple needed to establish mutual objectives. That was interesting and I’ll share more about that later.

As with most Americans, I want to get more physically fit. I hurt my shoulder a while back and haven’t been able to do much yoga or strength training. I want to walk more this years, so we purchased two pedometers yesterday. The goal is to walk 10,000 steps a day. First, I need to find out how many steps I’m actually walking a day. That should be interesting.

I have not been pleased with my growth as an artist. It feels like I’ve been stagnant for the last couple of years. Somehow, entering shows raises the level of the work, so my commitment is to enter at least four juried shows. I have the paperwork all filled out for the first and will hopefully be accepted into the show. I’m submitting two paintings and one photograph.

This brings us to a bit of advice. If you do establish goals for the year, set yourself up for success as soon as possible. Long term goals are fine, but break them down so you can feel like you are a master of your destiny.

Another goal I have this year is to do a better job of linking to other blogs. The first blog I want to tell you about is Ask Allison at Women Bloom. The site is dedicated to middle-aged women. That used to be a death sentence, but Allison makes it sound oh so chic.

In a recent blog, Allison discussed identifying guiding principles for 2009. These become the foundation for all the other goals. She starts by talking about how the world feels so out of control right now. As we look around, we know there is no business as usual. Whatever is going on in the world, there are some fundamental changes that are occurring. As Dorothy so profoundly stated, “Toto, I don’t think we are in Kansas any more.”

Over the next couple of weeks, I’ll share my goals with you, hope you’ll share with me and let’s see how we can make this a great year. Regardless, of what is going on around us.

Sneak Peak at the New Website

It started as a silly conversation. A younger friend was interested in SEO and I was ready to build a website for my coaching and counseling work. One thing let to another and eightteen months later, we're ready to say, "Come on over and take a look around."

This is the first official announcement that Retirement Life Matters is ready for viewing. I'm looking for a few brave people to try filling 'My RLM Page'. I'm the only one up there right now.

Read some of the articles. If you'd like to contribute articles to the website, let me know. If you have a book you'd like to promote, I'd love to talk to you about becoming an expert on the site.

I know there are a lot of sites dedicated to retiring baby boomers. I'm sure there are some that are similar to ours. I have a vision that baby boomers can redefine aging as a time to be vibrant, fulfilled and meaningful. My vision is to create a website that will support that journey.

Test of Time

I think my family is pretty wired. We only have two cell phones, but five computers for three people. When my grandchildren came to visit, they each brought their Nintendo Ds, a great babysitter on long trips.

So, it caught me as strange that the five of us (two grandparents, father, two children, ages 5 and 9) could sit down over two nights and play a game of Monopoly. At one point, my grandson had lots of houses, but very little cash and we laughed at how thoroughly modern he was.

As we close out the old year, I’ve been wondering about those cultural icons that survive the test of time. In some strange way, Lucy hangs in there. I wouldn’t necessarily turn to the Lucy show, but if I was bored and flipping channels, I might stop by for a thirty minute visit. She still is one of the best comic geniuses of all time. The same can be said for Carol Burnett.

I had to look up a recipe for cooking acorn squash this afternoon and of all the cookbooks I have, pulled out the Fannie Farmer one that was originally published in 1898. Mine was dated 1965, but it’s still my favorite for the basics.

As you’re celebrating the New Year, take a moment to share about the tried and true that hangs around year after year, offering comfort and joy.

Here’s to a wonderful New Year for everyone around the world.

Credit Card Trauma

I received a strange letter in the mail letter yesterday. It seems that a Chase credit card I’ve had since 1978 was cancelled because it hadn’t been used in a couple of years. It hadn’t been used because it had a lousy rate. I kept it because I’d had it a long time and wanted to show my credit history.

My first ‘professional’ job was working for a credit company. I used to watch women come in and try to buy furniture on credit, but they hadn’t established any in their own name and couldn’t qualify. I made a promise to always have credit in my own name. In fact, when I married my current husband, I was sent a new application to include my new husband on the card. I refused to fill it out. I called them up, explained I was the same person I had been before the name change, had never missed a payment and there was no reason to believe I couldn’t have the card solely in my name. They backed off.

Women today still don’t have credit in their own name. If they become single through a divorce or death, it’s like they don’t exist. It’s a shame.

I called up Chase this afternoon and worked my way up the chain of command until I talked to Steven. When I explained this was my credit history and begged a little bit, the card was reinstated.

I know this is has happened to others since I’ve been reading about it on blogs and forums today. My suggestion is to give them a call. I don’t know that you can get your card reinstated, but there’s no harm in trying.

I was assured my credit score wouldn’t be affected, but I’m not convinced. Your credit score is based, in part, on the ratio of credit available to you and your outstanding debt. If they cancel a credit card, that ratio could drop and change your score. In today’s world it’s not worth the risk.

For more information about cancelling a card card, read the following:

I just saw this article and want to pass it along to people who have had their credit cards cancelled. http://www.bankrate.com/brm/news/cc/20061114_cancel_card_credit_scorea.asp

Return to Quiet

First of all, let me say, I’ve been a reasonably functioning adult for many years. I raised two children, worked, went to school and was a contributing member of society.

So, why is that when my two grandchildren come to down, I’m barely able to function? Don’t get me wrong. I keep them fed, clothed, bathed and entertained. That’s the problem. When I was a parent 100% of the time, I didn’t feel the need or desire to entertain my children. Words like, “go watch TV,” might have been uttered from my lips. Now, as a grandparent, I am trying to come up with new and exciting things for us to do the whole time they are here. As a result, my work, and this blog all went by the wayside for a week. I’m not sorry.

They left last night and there a stillness that has nestled in the corners that I’m not yet used to. I’ll be back to normal. I miss the little voices, the smell of cleanly washed hair and the special energy that comes from having children in the house again.

Looking Back

I don't bake much anymore. The last time I made homemade bread, it got moldy before it was eaten. That took care of that.

I still like to make rolls for Christmas morning. Usually, it's sticky pecan rolls, but this year I decided cinnamon rolls. I've used the same recipe for almost thirty years, and it was fun to look at the ingredients through the splatters of time.

I don't have a mixer any more. I just couldn’t justify the cost when I bake so little. I don't have a sewing machine any more. Same reason. After making all my own clothes and home decorating, when the old machine died, I knew that phase of my life was over.

I usually think about the future. But, it's been interesting thinking back about times long gone. Not happy or sad, just interesting.

I wrote in my last blog about 100 extra calories a day adding ten pounds a year to your weight. As I’ve grappled with my own self-indulgence, I’ve been struck by how it relates to other articles I’ve read recently.

Did you know that over half of the world’s population exists on one bowl of rice a year? I read that last summer when gas and grain shot up. We forget as Americans how quickly we’ve shifted from surviving at near starvation levels to an absolute orgy of options. Choices abound, not only in food, but in other commodities.

Recently, there were reports of a band of parents writing to toy manufacturers to pull back on their advertising. They explained they couldn’t afford the toys their children wanted, had a very hard time saying ‘no,’ and wanted the toy people to help them by not thrusting tantalizing commercials for frequent viewing.

Haven’t the last few years been an exercise in indulgence? Whether we’re talking about food, homes, or toys, we’ve allowed ourselves to get caught up in a feeding frenzy of “I want, therefore I deserve.” Of course, we have an economic system that is based on feeding our constant desire to indulge at every whim. Americans work more hours per capita than any other group of people. We live in heightened state of stress to make money to feed the python of consumerism. We suffer from obesity and other lifestyle related ailments because we haven’t learned to say no.

Where do we go from here? One thing is clear, we can’t continue on this path. Our bodies are ill, children spoiled and our spirit is broken. We have an increased chasm between the haves and the have-nots, but everyone can be in debt to pretend they have it all. No one knows what the next couple of years are going to bring. One thing is for sure, we shouldn’t return to our old ways. We need to find another way of defining success, and what it means to be a proud people.

The 100 Calorie Dilemma

I read something earlier this week that has stayed with me. Basically it said that eating even 100 calories a day over your allotment can had up to 10 pounds a year.

Ouch! that hurt. I'm notorious for looking at a sweet or a treat and saying to myself, "It's only a hundred calories. What harm can it be?"

I can live with my weight where it is, but really don't want to add more. How do I now shift my desire away from my little 100 calorie treats?

I'm not sure what the answer, but it's definitely got me thinking.

Practice What You Preach

I’ve been very lucky have a source of steady income over the last twenty years. It’s allowed me to do a lot things I wouldn’t have been able to do otherwise; get another degree and start three businesses, for example. Like so many other people around the country, I can no longer count on it to provide what I need to pay my bills. My private practice as a career counselor is slow because people can’t afford the price for individual coaching. I need to find additional sources of income. Last week I spent time thinking about what I’m really good at and where there is a need that I might be able to fill.

While people can’t afford to pay for individual counseling services, I can utilize the current technology to help people at either no cost to them or for a very small investment find work. While this blog is still devoted to retirement life, I want to broaden the scope of what that entails. I will now be talking more about creating income in this new economy. (I started to write “find a job”, but I think people need to throw the doors open to finding income anyway they can-legal and moral ways, of course.)

I read the following this morning. It’s an excerpt from an article that appeared in a silicon valley newspaper discussing the difficulties young people are having finding work right out of college.

"I feel like I put in all the work [in school] to not have a job,"said Jillian Crawford, 25, who's been looking for a marketing jobwith a tech company since she graduated with honors from San JoseState University in June.Ms. Crawford has applied to about 25 marketing jobs withoutreceiving much of a response. She remains committed to finding a jobin Silicon Valley and would be dismayed if she had to lookelsewhere.

This is a problem many college graduates are facing, along with their parents who are having to open their home back up, so these young people don’t end up on the street.

There are no easy answers to the economic and labor problems facing the country right now. I believe, as an individual, if you are willing to put in the time and effort, you can find work.

What else might Jillian do to find a job? The article discussed how companies in silicon valley are more apt to hire people with experience who can hit the ground running. This provides the first clue as to what Ms. Crawford needs to do. It will not help to go back to school to get a graduate degree and it will not benefit her to take a retail job with the hope of getting marketing work later on. What she needs to do is find a way to get experience anyway she can. If that means taking a part time job to pay the bills and volunteering time in marketing, then that what she should do.

Here a some suggestions for Jillian to get experience and exposure. First, she should contact the local chapter of the American Marketing Association. Speaking to the executive director, tell him/her she is a recent graduate with a degree in marketing and she would like to get involved in the organization. She could inquire if they have any programs for recent graduates, or if they have a mentoring program. She can ask for names of members who might provide advice. She can also join in online professional groups such as Linkedin to connect with people in the profession.

Jillian can contact the San Jose State Career Center to see how to get names of alumni. She should start developing a list of people who graduated with a degree in marketing. In addition, review the list of 25 companies she applied to, identify the ten she would most like to work for, and start to contact people from San Jose State who work for these companies.

Arranging for thirty minute meetings, Jillian can explain how she applied for a marketing job, and ask for their advise about becoming a better candidate. Ask them to review her resume. It sounds weak if she didn’t get interviews, and there may be things she can do to spice it up. She wants to talk to as many people as she can asking them for advice, information and referrals (AIR).

She also might contact the local chamber(s) of commerce. She can explain her situation and see if they have suggestions of people she can contact for volunteer or paid work. She can contact independent marketing consultants to see if they need an assistant.

Jillian may also try contacting non-profits in her area and see about volunteering in their marketing department. Organizations still need to get their message out. There will continue to be a need for people with good skills.

She needs to be willing to try other activities besides answering ads. If she is willing to get out, meet people in the profession, do volunteer work to get experience, she will eventually be able to find a job in her field.

Retirement, Six weeks and Counting

My husband and I have are invited to the party tomorrow of another retiring co-worker. Since my husband was the first of the group to leave, it gave me a moment to pause about the changes in our life since then.

Actually, sleeping in the same bed together has been nice after twenty-five years of sleeping alone. It hasn’t been the adjustment I thought it would be.

We used to eat dinner at 4:00 and have now pushed it back to 5:30. I’m absolutely famished at 4:00, have a snack, which I’m not crazy about.

I hate him sitting in the office during the day while I’m trying to work. BUT, if I haven’t run across him in a couple of hours, I wonder where he is and take off searching. I’ve decided a cute little bell around his neck might be nice. I can always know where he is by his little tinkle.

Oh, and I haven’t watch HGTV in a month. It was my time filler. You know, those moments when you don’t know what to do and you’re too lazy to find something, so it’s easy to sit down, turn on the TV and veg.

Update

Yes, we finally got the phone back. It was a simple switch that needed to be changed at the back of our house. OMG, I can't believe all that hassle. I guess the new world of technology is difficult for all of us, even those who work in it.

If someone asked me if I had a good life, I would have to say yes. I'm not one of those people who walk outside looking for a brick to fall on my head. But, this is getting uncanny. Our six year old tv died yesterday. Notice what I said-six years old! It's not like it's even on all of the time. As you can see it's huge.I'm not sure what I hate more, paying for a new tv or putting this one in a landfill somewhere.

The repairman said it was a blown color tube and they can' be replaced. My husband found some on e-bay, but the repairman said it would cost $500 to install each of the three tubes.

This is ridiculous. I'm really not taking it too personally-really, but doesn't it bother you that a television that is six years old died, can't be fixed and has to be thrown in the junk heap? This wasn't a cheap television. It just seems to me that something has to change. I'm not sure where or how, but something has to change.

Can You Hear Me NOW?

Raise your hand if you still use a landline phone. I'm guessing the only people who raise their hand are those who are over thirty-five.

I was a late adopter of the cell phone. They caught me at an in-between phase. My children were out of the house, so I didn't need to keep track of them. I worked from home and I didn't do a lot of driving in the city. I finally got a cell phone two years ago. Rumor has it I was the last person in Southern California to actually own one.

I'm still not wired. I only give the cell number to family members and if I'm meeting someone for coffee. The number isn't on my business card and I'd rather leave it that way. I don't even have a camera on my cell. The worst part is I only have 450 minutes a month.

I have been without my landline phone for thirteen days. Ugh! I won't go into detail about how it happened. Suffice it to say, we were trying to streamline our operation, acquire fiber optics and eliminate a second phone line. Somehow there was a SNAFU and I'm in a desparate situation.

I've used up all my cell phone minutes and have spent at least two hours a day on the phone with Verizon trying to get it resolved. Tech support has been very pleasant, apologetic and unable to solve the problem. The worst thing about the whole situation is I can never talk to the same person twice. So every single time I call the toll-free number, I have to explain the situation all over again.

My husband admires my ability to stay cool and calm. I got emotional last Wednesday and the tech hung up on me. I've learned that they are the link to my getting a number and I'm nice or else.

Now, in the total horrors that is occurring in the world right now, I realize that being without a phone seems really petty. On the other hand, there are certain things we expect in life. A phone is one of them.

What the Elderly Really Think

I had one final presentation scheduled, which was last night. I was a bit nervous about this one. It was promoted to baby boomers and their parents, but was held in an independent/assisted living facility. I knew most of the attendees were going to be older than the baby boomers I normally talk to.

What was I going to say? My normal words of wisdom seemed silly and trite to this group. As I was setting up and they were getting comfortable, I overheard one lady say, “I’d like to know the myths about retirement.”

“Ah, ha, that’s where I’ll start,” I concluded.

After a wonderful introduction, I asked, “What are the myths about retirement and aging?” What followed was a lively discussion of the misperception and irritations that are felt by the over 50 and 75 crowd. Ultimately, the myths that life is either a ‘happy ever after’ stroll on the beach or a immediate collapse into physical decline are both inaccurate. We all agreed with the frustration that advertisers and manufactures have written us off unless it is for drugs or medical related items.

We concluded that life after work and raising a family is neither better nor worse than it had been before. It is different. What surprised me was the amount of passion they displayed. There was a desire these people had to let the world know they have thoughts, feelings and lives as profound as younger people.

I have created a model for meaningful aging. We spent the rest of our time discussing the model. I asked for their opinions about what I had researched. They agreed with the concepts I presented. They also provided some additional thoughts, I hadn’t considered.

For example, I discuss how staying connected is so important as we get older. The youngster of the group, a 62 year old who is recovering from a stroke, shared how being connected can be a detriment. She has been welcomed into the community, but is much younger than the other residents. She feels a need to push herself, get back to work, develop new relationships and take risks. She confided how the residents had embraced her and provided a wonderfully safe place to be and how hard it was to leave that environment to go back into the world.

My grandparents had all died before I was born, so I didn’t grow up around elderly people. As a result, I always felt slightly uncomfortable in their presence. In the last couple of years, in part because of my work, I’ve been around more people who are in their eighties and above. Guess what? They’re just like us. They have charm, wit, humor, and insight. They want to be valued and acknowledged.

While I started off feeling a bit nervous, the night proved to be delightful. We all shared and participated. It was a wonderful experience.

Back from the...

After two weeks of presentations and conferences, life is returning to normal. Or not.

One of the things I encourage new retirees to do is establish a routine. If you want to sleep until 9:00, read the paper over a leisurely breakfast, that’s fine. Be consistent. A routine brings order and makes it easier to explore and create a new life.

My husband is establishing somewhat of a routine. After twenty-five years of working nights, I was concerned he would get up at 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning, be up for a few hours and then back to bed for another few hours. That was normal when he had a vacation.

As soon as he retired, he forced himself to stay in bed and sleep through the night. He’s avoided the temptation of taking naps in the day, which would make the previous scenario harder to do.

I wasn’t expecting my own routine to be so disrupted. It’s totally thrown me in a tailspin. I normally wake at 6:00 am and changing from daylight savings time hasn’t helped, since I now wake at 4:00, 4:30 or 5:00. The plan is to fix a cup of coffee, go in the office, read emails, take quiet time to journal, mediate and read inspirational books. This is followed by thirty minutes of yoga, and then breakfast spent reading the paper. All of this occurred before my husband arrived home from work.

I struggle with my morning now. I’m not fitting my quiet or yoga time into the schedule. We take a walk every morning, so that helps, but I’m still not in the flow.

I knew our evening habits would change. We’ve gone from eating dinner at 4:00 to 5:30-6:00. Of course, that has affected my working after dinner.

None of this is my husband’s fault. It’s not that he demands I cook him breakfast or anything like that. In fact, he’s just a dream, for the most part. He’s doing most of the cleaning, laundry and a lot of cooking. He keeps himself busy and doesn’t try to take me away from my activities. But, he’s around, when he wasn’t before. That presence has changed things.

The Times, They are 'a Changin'

I just read about a man who was recently laid off after working for a food company as a salesman for twenty-four years at The Boomer Chronicles.

The first time I was confronted, as a career counselor, with this type of situation, was in the early 90’s. I was called in to speak to a group of laid off aerospace workers who had lost their jobs during the post cold war defense downsizing. They were all men, mostly professionals, engineers, accountants and managers. The loss they felt was inconsolable.

It was the beginning of trend that continues today. Prior to that time, it was common for blue collar workers to be laid off. That marked the beginning of lay offs of professions. A trend that continues to this day.

A few years later, I went through a similar situation. With a partner, I started a career center. I had arrived. I had become who I wanted to become. Then one day, she proclaimed she wanted to dissolve the partnership. I was devastated.

People don’t understand. Yes, you lose you livelihood and that’s scary as can be. Many people also lose their sense of identity. We are a society that defines ourselves by our work and as wage earners. If you take that away, there is a complete lose of self.

It’s hard to recover, but people do. People can move to the other side and discover a whole new way of being. They do find other jobs and move on. It’s not easy. It can be incredibly painful.

I fell into a depression that lasted eighteen months. Slowly, I learned about a process I now teach to help people heal and become whole again.

The next few years are going to test the resiliency of a lot of people. Dreams and expectations are going to be challenged. Ultimately, we’re going to have to learn how to function with less than we imagined.

In all of this, there is still opportunity. There is opportunity to come together as families and communities. There is opportunity to reevaluate what is truly important to individuals and to our country. There is an opportunity to redefine work and its role in our lives. I’m hoping there is also an opportunity for companies to redefine what they are all about. Is there something beyond the bottom line? Stay tuned.

Half Full Glass

I just finished sweeping the chards of glass off the floor. My beloved gallon jar used for making sun tea slipped from my fingers as I reached to take it out of the refrigerator. Of course, my first reaction was, “Oh, sh..!”

As my husband arrived with the vacuum to retrieve the slivers, I commented, “At least it wasn’t full of tea.”

He then responded in his sardonic voice, “There you go again seeing the glass (in this case jar) is always half full.”

I am a half-full kind of gal. I write this as I sit with a sewer system that is backed up since yesterday, waiting for the beloved “Joe the Plummer” to come replace the fifty year old sewer pipes. My husband cleared the hillside they have dig up early this week. We’re intending to replant with drought tolerant plants. The good news is we haven’t planted yet, so they aren’t going to have to distroy new bushes and shrubs.

Last year we our flight to Lisbon was cancelled. We didn’t get a new flight for twelve hours. As a result, we arrived in Lisbon at 10:00 in the morning instead of 4:00 in the afternoon. Had we arrived at 4:00, we would have had to try to find our hotel in Evora, fifty miles away in the dark. Initial disappointment turned into a godsend.

Psychologists now think people are either born with an optimistic or pessimistic disposition. I have long given up trying to figure what part of our personality is choice or predetermined by genetics. I feel blessed that no matter how bad the circumstance, I’m ultimately able to find the silver lining.