A Time for Stairs

I’ve previously commented on what menopause does to muscle tone. The phrase “use it or lose it,” personifies certainly my body’s experience over the last ten years. I was aware of the need to take care of myself in a more concerted effort and embarked on a journey to find an exercise regime that I enjoyed. Growing up I was the kid who was always last…

After a number of gym memberships, classes at the rec center, I found a yoga instructor on t.v. that I liked and committed to thirty minutes a day. In addition, my husband and I walk two times a day for about mile each. Not strenuous, but it gets outside the heart pumps for a few minutes.

About six months ago, I did something to my shoulders. It has been diagnosed as bursitis, but so far has not improved. I can’t raise either arm above my shoulder and if I move in a certain way, there is a searing pain that runs through my shoulders. As a result, I stopped doing my yoga. While yoga didn’t build muscle, I felt like I wasn’t losing ground. Since then, it’s been a race against time to see if I’m going to heal before I turn into a mass of cellular mush.

My husband and I are currently staying at a time-share in Northern Carolina. I will share our week as we explore the area as a tourist and as a potential place to retire.

Our condominium is two stories. At first, I was hesitant about the stairs. After the red eye from LA to Atlanta yesterday, the last thing I wanted to do was bounce up and down stairs. As I sat upstairs in the living room so my husband could take a nap downstairs in the bedroom, it occurred to me that stairs is exactly what I need in my life right now.

Because, there were so many exercises I couldn’t do in yoga, I stopped even though there isn’t anything wrong with my legs. The walking every day is okay, but doesn’t push muscle development.

For the next seven days, those stairs are my friend. Up and down I go. It may be a strange place to start a vacation journey, but it’s what you get on Saturday morning.

Retirement Homes, Communities: The Good, Bad and the Ugly

Retirement Life Matters was created to help the baby boomer transition into retirement (however you want to define it.) Because we don’t live in a vacuum, it becomes necessary to broaden the discussion.

My mother is an active eighty three year old. She left her condo a few years ago to move back into a house. In fact, moving is what my mom does best. Within months of finding a new home, she finds she isn’t happy and starts scouring for greener pastures.

Unfortunately, her memory is becoming problem. She lives a thousand miles from the nearest family member, so we’re trying to come to a collective decision as to what is the next best living situation for her.

When I grew up, people lived in their own homes until they couldn’t function by themselves anymore. Then, they either moved in with a family member or went to a nursing home. That was the term we grew up with and was the only option when people got older.

In today’s world, there are many more choices. Unfortunately, the terms can be confusing. What’s independent living versus assisted or continuing care? Here are the definitions.

I received a promotional DVD in the mail yesterday marketing a local senior Continuing Care Retirement Community. I lamented at the challenge over getting my mother to consider this type of arrangement.

It occurred to me that our parents’ generation grew up with the concept of nursing homes being the place elders were warehoused when they could no longer function. While there is a wide range of new choices, the image of being shuttered off prevails.

My godfather still lives in his home of fifty years refusing to consider any other options. He is lonely and bored, but in his case, refuses to leave familiar surroundings.

I would love suggestions of how children talk to their elderly parents about moving to these newer environments.

Fruits and Vegetables

It’s been tough to write during the last three weeks. You see, I started a new job. I’m a home-based consultant for Right Management, helping people who have recently been laid off with their job search. The great thing is I get to continue to work from home. In order to manage telecommuters, there are a myriad of policies, procedures and documentation. So far, there are eight separate and unique websites I have to learn. Of course, each has its own log in and password.

For the most part, I like the work. After one day, we started working with clients and I now have ten. They are from all over the country, from different industries and professions. I find them to be enthusiastic, positive and accepting of my help. That’s saying a lot in this economic climate.

I’m going to let you in on a secret that I covered up well in my interview. I was crazy busy before I took the job, and now I’m barely hanging on by thread. Once I get through the thirty-two hours of training, it should be more manageable.

We have this interesting shift that has occurred in our family. I’ve always been busy, but my husband was also busy. I’m working seven days a week. He’s retired. Therefore, he’s having to take more household responsibility. Bless him, he’s doing that. He’s cooking, doing dishes, and laundry.

I sent him to the store to buy the week’s groceries, with my ATM card, no less. Deep breath. I told him he couldn’t spend more than $150 (this will last two weeks). He did good, and stayed below his budget. I was helping putting away the groceries and commented, “I see you didn’t spend much time in the fruits and vegetables.”

Quite innocently, he responded, “Yes, I did. I bought canned corn, beans, peas and tomatoes.” The men who read this might not see the humor, but most women will read this and chuckle.

Here’s the dilemma. I can do it all myself. I can criticize what he’s done, so he becomes angry and resentful at trying to help out. Or, I can keep my mouth shut. This is what happens when you enter retirement. Whether I’m working or not, I want him to participate in the chores around the house. At some level, I have to back off and not dictate how I want it done.

I'd love to hear other stories of how men help out around the house after retirement.

Retirement Work for the Over 55 Community

I’m delighted to report that I am quoted in a recent ABC News article about job search over 50.

Over the last few years, I shifted my focus away from career counseling and job search towards retirement life planning. There is an overlap between them, but it is different. Because of all the lay-offs and change in the economy, I’ve decided to incorporate more job search information in my blog and other writing.

I was reading the comments to the article and one woman lamented she’d been without a job for six years, had applied at ‘every site on the Internet,’ but had only had a handful of interviews.

I know what it’s like to be unemployed, to feel like you’re doing everything you know how to do and keep coming up short. It becomes so easy to feel like a victim under those circumstances. At some point in time, you have to also to evaluate yourself and the situation and say, “Something’s got to change.”

I don’t know this woman’s specific situation, but my first advice would be to focus her job search energy away from the Internet for awhile. She obviously is not conveying what she wants to communicate on her resume. Take it to friends, former colleagues and have them honestly review it. Call or email friends who are employed. Tell them you’re looking for XYZ type of work and to keep their eyes and ears open for suggestions. Be willing to do things differently.

As people get closer to retirement, jobs become harder to find. There are many activities seniors can do to improve their job search. Retired jobs a now very much in demand as retired seniors watch their retirement income security disappear.

We’re going to spend more time exploring what the over 55 community can do to create and find retirement work.

Sign up for the Retirement Life Matters Newsletter and download the 7 Ingredients for a Satisfying Retirement.