New On the Retirement Life Matters Website

New On the Retirement Life Matters Website
As someone who is moving, as well as has an aging parent surrounded with too much, Vickie Dellaquillas’ book Don’t Toss My Memories in the Trash is a treasure trove of information about how to get started, move through the daunting process to downsizing and moving.


Who doesn’t want to be healthy? Jim Donovan thinks we should take responsibility for our health. Read how he builds his own health team.

As the New Year begins, many look for a place to volunteer or donate money. Read how researchers have documented that Heifer International is changing the face of hunger in the world.

Create A Great Retirement Teleseries Begins

The Internet is an amazing place, especially in retirement life. There is a wealth of information to access. Sometimes we need more.

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"The Myths and Realities of Retirement"

with Cathy Severson
Wednesday, January 13, 2010 - 8 pm Eastern/5 pm Pacific

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Clearing Clutter

It had been my intention to update this blog with daily tips of preparing a home to sell and the process involved in moving as a part of retirement life. Unfortunately, it seemed like I had a choice to either write about packing or actually pack.

Having watched my eighty-three year old mother struggle with downsizing and observing neighbors who have lived in their homes in excess of thirty years, it occurred to me that people should go through this purging process whether they plan on moving or not. One week plus into this endeavor, I’ve concluded no one with half a brain would subject themselves to this unless they absolutely have to. Every room is in disarray as we sort, discard (toss or put aside to give away or sell) and pack. I've received great suggestions from Don't Toss My Memories in the Trash, by Vicky Dellaquila. The purging feels good, but we’re currently in that place where it doesn’t feel like we’ll ever be done.

Here’s my suggestion on day nine of a major move. If you’re not moving, but want to free yourself from some of your possessions, start with one thing.

I hate throwing anything in the trash, so yesterday I gathered all the old pairs of glasses and put them in an envelop to:

Lions Club International
Attention: Receiving Dept
300 W. 22nd St.
Oak Brook, IL 60523

Put all you photos in one location. Even if you don’t put them in albums, having them all together will feel great.

Give something you cherish away. This is tough. I have wonderful antique furniture pieces that we can’t take with us. My husband made a solid roll top desk that is too big to fit in our new home. The thought of giving these items away that have been a part of my life seemed impossible. Once we did a floor plan of the new house and we realized we couldn’t take them with us, I took photos and thought about what they have meant to me. Somehow, it all came into perspective. It’s just stuff. It’s stuff that I’ve loved and has been an important part of my life, but it’s still just stuff.

I’d love to hear about your move or declutter projects.

Moving to Arizona

A quick trip to Prescott, Arizona the second week of December led to a significant life change. After almost thirty years in southern California, we’re moving. A house has been purchased and it’s time to begin our new retirement life.

Well, almost. It was hard to get excited about moving when there is a home full of possession that need to be sorted, discarded, sold and packed for the movers. At first, it felt overwhelming, but a random phone call started the process.

I had lots of coats, winter clothes and blankets that I wanted to give to the homeless. A call from the local rescue mission informing me they’d have a truck in the neighborhood on Dec. 30 started the process. Consolidating the items to be donated didn’t feel too overwhelming and we both jumped into the process. In a few hours, we had three huge garbage bags full of items for the homeless. There was a sense of accomplishment at completing the task. We both felt the job ahead of us was manageable. We can do this!

What Did You Talk About at Thanksgiving?

Recently, I heard a story about a newly retired woman exclaiming to her financial planner that completing a will was not only morbid, but something to do when you were ‘old.” It is an important step in creating a satisfying retirement life.

I don’t know of anyone who is excited about estate planning (except lawyers, of course). Similar to getting a colonoscopy, it needs to be done.

Estate planning isn’t just for you. It’s for the people you care about. It forces you to look at the final phase of your life. While that can be scary, it can also be very liberating. It is also lets you control your life and your legacy.

My mother doesn’t have an up-to-date will. A number of years ago, we encouraged her to get a trust, but she didn’t understand it and ultimately refused to sign the papers. She now has a new will, but so far hasn’t gotten it notarized. I think she believes that signing the will eliminates her choices. In reality, not signing the will passes control to the state and hospitals that don’t know her and don’t care about following her wishes.

Estate planning can be confusing. There are a lot of decisions to make. Attorneys Michael and Danielle Mayoras have written a great book, Trials and Heirs to help you through the process. By using stories of the rich and celebrated, they describe what can happen if you don’t plan adequately. In addition, they offer easy to understand information to help you learn about estate planning for you and your family.

One of the most confusing aspects of estate planning is whether or not you need a living trust. Attorney Michael Pancheri from The Living Trust Network contributed a six-part series about the Reasons for a Living Trust.

Along with planning all the wonderful things you want to do with your retirement, take the time to talk to an attorney and plan for the end of your life. You’ll be glad you did.

New on the RLM Website

There are some wonderful things happening on the Retirement Life Matters website.

We recently returned from a Mediterranean Cruise. Without a doubt Mediterranean Cruises was the most help in preparing for time onshore.

Have you had to overcome obstacles in your life? Author Lynne Klippel share tales of tragedy and redemption in her new book Overcomers, Inc: True Stories of Hope, Courage and Inspiration.

I was born and raised in Colorado. My son is named Zebulon after the man who discovered Pike’s Peak. It’s no surprise that Colorado Springs has become a top retirement destination.

Nutrition Tips for Retirement Life

As we get older and enter retirement life, the idea of taking better care of our body takes on a whole new meaning. I finally occurred to me that sticking around in this life form meant keeping the mode of transportation healthy.

I was recently informed that my LDL (bad) cholesterol was way too high. Clearly, my husband's wonderful French cooking needs to be modified.

My first task was to eliminate chocolate. I love milky chocolate and not the purer chocolate that is the preference of nutritionists. The quest for a sweet, but more healthful alternative is in play.

If you looking for a simple, but comprehensive list of nutritional tips you can implement, this is it. The first suggestion I'm going to implement is drinking a glass of water before I eat. I've always been a fast eater and even if I try, I'm still the first one with an empty plate. A bad habit from childhood is going back for a bit of seconds. Maybe the glass of water will help me. Take a look and let me know which tip you're going to try.

Understanding the Healthcare Crisis

There aren’t too many topics more important to retirement life currently than the healthcare debate. As I was preparing to write about this topic, it occurred to me that much of the volatility we saw last summer was the fear people had of losing what they had. While we may be saddened at the stories about people losing their homes because of medical bills or not being insured, we hold more tightly onto our own benefits, afraid of what we might have to sacrifice in order to help someone else. That tells me how important it is for the debate to continue. Wouldn’t it be tragic to have a ‘civil war’ between those who have coverage and those who don’t?

Not offering solutions to the problems, I want to make some two suggestions about understanding the situation better. Much of the passion concerning the debate has centered on the socialization of healthcare in this country. T.R. Reid, author of The Healing of America: A Global Quest for Better, Cheaper, and Fairer Health Care provides excellent information about healthcare in other parts of the world. He also produced a one-hour show, which you can view online about healthcare in six other countries. His report isn’t as much as an indictment on the system in the US, but a true understanding of the differences with other healthcare systems. He makes sure to point out the challenges that other countries face, without minimizes the problems in the US.

Last week, I listened to two one-hour segments of This American Life concerning the healthcare debate. More is Less and Someone Else’s Money provide a comprehensive summary of the healthcare system in the US. One aspect I’ve been curious is why health insurance is tied to employment. The show provides a history of medicine in the US since the beginning of the twentieth century that is interesting. The show also demonstrates the challenges we all face in changing the system and that no one entity, such as insurance is to blame. I’ll be the first to admit I have a bias in this debate. I thought both the Frontline show and the This American Life segments were effective in coming from a perspective of information and were not pushing a political agenda.

Is there life following being downsized after 50?

Many are facing retirement life after being downsized. Often dreams and expectations are altered from the experience.

The first time I encountered a group of the over 50 set following a downsizing was after the collapse of Russia. I was still working on my masters degree in career counseling when I was asked to make presentation to a group of laid off engineers from the aerospace industry.

I wasn’t prepared for what I saw. These weren’t men who had just lost their jobs. They had lost their sense of self, as well as a way to earn a living. Their sense of value as human beings had vanished along with their work.

You can imagine my shock when I faced that exact situation five years later myself. With a partner, we had created an amazing career center from scratch. For me, it was the culmination of a lifetime of effort and work. I’ll never forget the day she said, “Cathy, I don’t want to do this any more.” I was absolutely destroyed.

Author, marketing executive and boomer expert, Carol Orsborn recently shared about her own downsizing that resulted in her writing the book The Year I Saved My (downsized) Soul: A Boomer Woman’s Search for Meaning…and a Job.

In those blackest moments, Carol writes, “When you give up the illusion of control, it’s true that you can’t always stop bad things from happening. But you can’t stop good things from happening, either.”

After I left the career center, for the first time in my life, I couldn’t find a job and fell into a deep sorrow that lasted almost two years. I refer to this as the time I lost my soul.

Ultimately, I learned I was solely responsible for my own happiness. The roles I had; mother, business woman, and wife were ways of expressing me, but they weren’t my identity.

There is a saying that the things that don’t hurt us make us stronger. Like Carol and many others, now I look back on the time in the wilderness as a gift. It led me to this work, painting and a psychological and spiritual health I never would have achieved without it.

New on the RLM Website

Check out these new articles on the Retirement Life Matters website.

I don’t know anyone over 50 who doesn’t have concerns about memory. LifelongLearning expert Nancy Merz Nordstrom discusses brain research and fun for your brain.

If you’re still thinking about ways to earn extra income, Stan Spector suggests starting a retirement business to help all the stressed out people who just don’t have enough time.

Charlottesville, Virginia home to Thomas Jefferson is an ideal place to retire, according to expert Warren Bland.

Share my journey as I visit the Hopi nation in NE Arizona.

Would You Have Lunch with a Python?

We have visions about the adventures we’re going to have in our retirement life. There are place to go, people to meet and things to do.

When the day actually arises, it’s easy to let fears and phobias take over, so the challenges and opportunities begin to diminish. There’s always the fear about money. And then there are the concerns about our health – you know we’re not young anymore. It becomes very easy for the walls of options to close around us.

One of my favorite quotes is from author Barbara Sher in It’s Only Too Late if You Don’t Start Now, “Why is it when midlifers talk of fulfilling their lifelong dreams before they’re too old to do them, they’re never talking about dreams like publishing a book or singing at the Met?”

Now is the time to dust off some of those old dreams you’ve shelved because you needed to earn a living and raise a family. What are the adventures you want to have? The biggest obstacle you have is you.

If you’ve started the list of the things you’d love to do, but… I’d like to introduce you to Warren Stortroen. A mild mannered insurance man for his professional career, he has now reached notoriety for having gone on 57 Earthwatch expeditions since retiring twelve years ago.

Once you read about Warren, you’ll want to get out there and do something outside of your comfort zone.

French Cooking and Retirement Life

So, what do French cooking and retirement life have in common?

My husband and I went to see Julie and Julia last Friday night. This is the perfectly poached egg he presented me with on Saturday morning.

What does my husband share with Julia Child? They both value the concept of ‘mastery.’

My husband approaches French cooking with the same methodical precision he approaches building his plane. If it calls for a quart of whipping cream, then off to the store he goes for supplies.

He hurt his leg pushing carts at the grocery store on Saturday. We were both afraid he'd torn a tendon, so I wanted him to stay off his leg.

"I'll cook dinner, " I declared.

I was completely lost. I didn't know where to start. We ended up pulling some frozen crabcakes from the freezer. I totally tanked.

The good news. The delicious smells of French cooking permeate my house with Julia’s signature Boeuf Bourguignon simmering on the stove.

The leg is healing and he's back to cooking.

What Stands in the Way of Your Retirement Dreams?

When I knew we were going to travel to Arizona recently, I contacted RLM Experts, Billy and Akaisha Kaderli to see if we might meet and have breakfast. One of the highlights of my job is meeting the amazing people who are interested in Retirement Life Matters. Billy and Akaisha exemplify the new retirement spirit.

Entrepreneurs’ and restaurant owners, they found themselves with a beautiful home and successful careers, but working up to eighty hours a week with little joy in their lives. They did what many fantasize. They walked away from it all. They retired early and started to live life.

The number one stumbling block people give for not living their dreams is finances. Not only do Billy and Akaisha travel around the world, often staying in a location for months at a time, but they do it on a meager income. They have chosen to live a frugal lifestyle exemplified with the recent sale of their only vehicle.

There’s a saying that most of us go to the grave with our dreams still inside of us. Entering into retirement is an occasion to revisit, recapture and establish dreams for the next stage of life. When you talk to people years before they plan on retiring they will share visions of travel, learning new skills, connecting with others and making a difference. After retirement, many people feel lost, unfocused and fearful about living the life of their dreams.

Billy and Akasha Kaderli model a retirement that, while frugal is full and complete with worldly travels, rich in experience and relationships.

Work for Those Over 50 – What’s the True Story?

As the boomer generation creeps into retirement life, an interesting phenomenon is starting to emerge. More workers, by choice and otherwise are going to continue to work. While this may appear depressing at first glance, further investigation offers additional insight.

The headline read “Career Changers After Age 50 Are Permanently Worse Off.” In a well crafted article, the author sited numerous statistics about older workers and the challenges they face in getting work after 50.

In fact, studies consistently show that workers who are laid off at mid-life have a difficult finding another job that pays the same or better. In general, people who left a job involuntarily, earn two-thirds what they did in their previous job.

Employees who left a job voluntarily fare much better. People who leave a job on their own earned either the same or more in subsequent positions.

The article continued to share very important information about the mature worker not first apparent by the headline. While workers who change jobs at mid-life do struggle to maintain the pay they had earned, they are much happier in their new work and they like their new jobs better. In fact, ninety-one percent reported they liked their new job, even if they earned less money.

“They are more satisfied and they report less stress because it appears that they have more control over what they are doing and they certainly don’t have a lot of people telling them what to do,” says Susan Reinhard, senior vice president of the AARP Public Policy Institute. In addition to being happy in their work, nearly two-thirds entered into new positions or new industries.

Work is going to continue to be an important aspect of retirement. That doesn’t mean it’s an indictment to a less fulfilling or rewarding third age. Not only providing income, work presents an opportunity to stay connected, provide structure and meaning in life.

Retirement Life Decisions

New retirement life often brings decisions. Where are we going to live? What are we going to do? How are we going to pay for it? How does it integrate into a balanced and complete lifestyle?

My husband and I are currently in Arizona. We spent the weekend in Phoenix with our grandchildren. They recently moved into a new house their parents purchased. For the first time, we’re considering not only moving to the desert, but also moving to the location of our grandchildren. On top of that, we’re researching an adult only community.

The first thing I have to say is be careful what you declare you’ll never do. I often laugh at my husband who said he’d never move to California and has spent the last 27 years here.

Neither one of us are big desert people. I never imagined I would consider a retirement in Arizona.

In addition, I often cluck at people who move to be close to their grandchildren. I advise you can’t create a fulfilling life solely around your family and grandchildren.

Finally, I’ve had grave misgivings about moving into an adult community. I always considered them to be golden prisons, isolated from the real world, devoted to a senior life of indulgence.

Stay posted as we explore retirement life doing all the things you said you wouldn’t do.

Your Ideal Day

I was intrigued with the post at The Boomer Chronicles describing our ideal day and how that relates to an ideal retirement life. An ideal day is special that most often involves enjoying food, friends and a favorite activity.

My ideal day:

I thoroughly enjoy getting up with sun, drinking a cup of coffee listening to the birds as they awake to a new day.

My ideal day would involve a leisurely lunch with friends at a quiet outdoor cafe overlooking a pond or stream.

The day would include creating a masterful painting and spending time with my friends at the studio laughing and talking about sex.

It might also include a trip to a great gallery or museum.

The evening would be spent at a secluded B & B overlooking a beach or in the woods, a romantic dinner for two and a special night with the man I love.

OR

My ideal day would be spent enjoying my grandchildren.

New On the RLM Website

As baby boomers start the transition into retirement life, this diversified group shares one thing-the desire for experience. Contrary to popular opinion, this isn't a homogenous group, but one that is varied and complex. The desire to make the most of life is feeling most boomers share

In recent weeks, we’ve been discussing small business you can start in retirement. Meet Judy Jurisich who took the ‘retirement’ business to a whole new level by creating the New Orleans Cooking Experience.

As baby boomers reach retirement age, they want to create their own change in the world. They want to make a positive difference. One of the most successful volunteer organizations is Earthwatch which has programs on all the continents.

Warren Bland continues his journey through great retirement communities with a look at Bloomington, Indiana.

Extend Your Retirement Life

How long would you like to live? You can extend your retirement life in some amazingly simple ways according to research. Did you know that laughing daily can extend your life by 8.8 years. Get out the old Laurel and Hardy movies.

There are things you can't control, such as being born more recently. Young people are expected to live 5 years more than people born 25 years ago. Being born a woman is always better for living longer. Where you actually live can affect how long you live.

There are things you can do. You know that not smoking and have a lifetime fitness regiment will extend your life. Did you know how much you sleep and good dental hygiene also contributes to your extended life.

The question might be whether or not you wan to live to 100. But, it's fun to see how what you can do to improve your odds.

Has your life taken a U-Turn?

Every day we hear stories and encounter people whose lives aren’t what they expected. This is especially true with retirement life Recently, I’ve met people who were ‘forced’ to retire two years too early. Many people who are retired have been compelled to look for work as they watch their savings and investments tumble.

Throughout your life, you’ve met with challenges, tragedies and opportunities. They don’t go away as we get older. I heard recently about a friend whose young adult child drowned. I think we make a pact with God, or the universe if you prefer. We say that we’re going to make every intention of living a good life, of being a good person. We’ll work hard and be reasonably kind to those we meet along the way. In exchange, nothing horrible is going to happen to us. It doesn’t happen that way. As Harold Kushner wrote many years ago, bad things do indeed happen to good people.

It was a pleasure to recently talk to author and psychologist Nancy Irwin, who has compiled forty stories about people whose lives took a U-Turn as they reached the midpoint. Like Nancy, who returned to school at age 42 to become a psychologist, many of the stories are dominated by personal choices. Other stories involved people who were assaulted with life-altering situations. Read about Facing You Turns.

As Nancy declares, change is inevitable; the key is how we deal with it. As I have researched and now live with it, retirement is one of the most significant transitions we face in our lives.

The opportunity for personal growth, new challenges, and experiences is available around every corner as you transition into retirement, regardless of your financial situation. You bring with you many Tools to ensure your success.

A primary goal of Retirement Life Matters is to help you create a satisfying life, regardless of the circumstances you experience.

New On the Retirement Life Matters Website

Great new articles appear at the Retirment Life Matters website this week. Take a look.

Baby boomers want to find balance in retirement. A life out of whack has led them to want to have it all without feeling out of control. Nancy Merz Nordstrom discusses Creating Balance in our After-50 Years

Learn how taking out the trash as a youngster affected your retirement in Retirement Money and Why There is Never Enough

Stan Spector continues his series with a suggestion you specialize your retirement business.

Warren Bland continues his quest for the perfect retirement community with a review of Bellingham, Washington.