Where do You Belong After Retirement?

An important aspect of retirement life is feeling connected. It's important to believe you belong.
I was very concerned about my husband’s transition to retirement. He had worked the nightshift most of his adult life. Because of his schedule, we never developed a social circle of friends. Outside of work and family, he didn’t have a place where he had a sense of belonging. People often don’t realize the importance of being connected, feeling you belong.

For most of the history of mankind, a sense of belonging came from your clan and geographic community. As baby boomers who grew up in the suburbs, much of a sense community based on where we lived was lost. Many of us don’t even know our next door neighbors, let alone feel a sense of connection to them.

As baby boomers became adults, work replaced school as a place to belong. For many, a sense of community is formed by the company you work. Or it may come from camaraderie of a particular profession. For many baby boomers, work fulfills many needs beyond just a paycheck.

For people who do not have a large family, strong church ties or other social group they belong, retirement can be very isolating. It can be a challenge for people to find new ways to connect.

For many, finding a sense of belonging will be based on locating a community based on your interests and passions. I’ve been painting for twelve years. I paint at a studio twice a month. It forces me to paint, no matter how busy I am, but more importantly, it gives me an opportunity to be with my friends, to feel connected others. My painting buddies from my tribe. This is a place where I feel accepted.

My husband is building a plane in our garage. Every day, the garage door goes up. People now stop by throughout the week, checking out the plane and talking about flying. A pilot, who lives up the street, invited my husband to go to the airfield recently. The neighbor introduced my husband to the other pilots. He is finding a new community to belong.

Finding a retirement activity is a way to stay challenged. It also is important as a way to stay connected. Finding a place to belong is an important ingredient to creating a fulfilling retirement.

What's in a Retirement Home?

The concept of home takes on a completely new meaning in retirement. In fact, home is considered on of the foundation elements, along with health and finances.

My husband and I remodeled our home almost ten years ago with the intention of making it our retirement home. Now, ‘retirement California’ may not make sense.

We’re not alone in our thinking. As people look forward to retirement, they take a special interest in where they want to live. For many, their retirement residence is a key factor in their plan for retirement.

Like many, I’d like to explore the possibility of retiring abroad. But, I’m not sure I’d be willing to totally give up a residence in the states.

There’s also a part of me that would love to be a vagabond for a year or two and not have to worry about a home.

When I think about living on the road, or retiring overseas, I always come back to the question of what would we do with the cats?

Right now, the primary question is what do we want in our new home? Not just the home, but what factors determine the community and surrounding area? These are all questions to consider.

Research shows very few people actually move to a new retirement location. I'd like to know if it's something you are considering and what are the factors that are important to you?

Goals: The Key to a Happy Retirement (and Life)

I was reading different blogs last week (I don’t remember which one), but the author of one wrote, “I don’t want to have goals right now.” I certainly know how she feels. Especially when most goals are centered around all the things we should be doing; losing weight, exercising, getting organized, etc. No wonder most people break their resolutions and goals soon after the new year.

As I wrote recently, I made a commitment to write my goals down this year. The goals I listed are mostly about the things I want to have in my life. One thing I want to do is enter my paintings in more shows this year. I submitted two paintings and one photo in the Thousand Oaks Art Association Open show this month and had the photograph and one painting accepted. I’m so delighted.

I’ll never know whether or not I would have submitted the art work to this show had I not written down my goals. All I can say is I had intended to enter more shows for the last two years and didn’t. I also hadn’t written my goals down.

There is three things I can say about goals. The first is to select goals that make your heart sing and are worth working for. Second, attach your goals to specific behavior. Don’t think, “My goal is to get more organized.” But instead, “I’m going to get more organized by spending one hour a week organizing. I’m going to organize my paper, bedroom closets, photographs and kitchen cupboards.

My art goal reads, " I will enter at least four shows this year. " Finally, identify the hour a week you’re going to organize. It helps if it’s consistent, but often that’s not possible. Finally, write the goals down.

We know baby boomers retirement is going to be different. The senior new to retirement can quickly fall into a dreary abyss with out a plan. Retirement goals become the foundation to how to retire happy. Share your goals for the upcoming year.