Is there life following being downsized after 50?

Many are facing retirement life after being downsized. Often dreams and expectations are altered from the experience.

The first time I encountered a group of the over 50 set following a downsizing was after the collapse of Russia. I was still working on my masters degree in career counseling when I was asked to make presentation to a group of laid off engineers from the aerospace industry.

I wasn’t prepared for what I saw. These weren’t men who had just lost their jobs. They had lost their sense of self, as well as a way to earn a living. Their sense of value as human beings had vanished along with their work.

You can imagine my shock when I faced that exact situation five years later myself. With a partner, we had created an amazing career center from scratch. For me, it was the culmination of a lifetime of effort and work. I’ll never forget the day she said, “Cathy, I don’t want to do this any more.” I was absolutely destroyed.

Author, marketing executive and boomer expert, Carol Orsborn recently shared about her own downsizing that resulted in her writing the book The Year I Saved My (downsized) Soul: A Boomer Woman’s Search for Meaning…and a Job.

In those blackest moments, Carol writes, “When you give up the illusion of control, it’s true that you can’t always stop bad things from happening. But you can’t stop good things from happening, either.”

After I left the career center, for the first time in my life, I couldn’t find a job and fell into a deep sorrow that lasted almost two years. I refer to this as the time I lost my soul.

Ultimately, I learned I was solely responsible for my own happiness. The roles I had; mother, business woman, and wife were ways of expressing me, but they weren’t my identity.

There is a saying that the things that don’t hurt us make us stronger. Like Carol and many others, now I look back on the time in the wilderness as a gift. It led me to this work, painting and a psychological and spiritual health I never would have achieved without it.

Finding Love for the Boomers Over 50

When I was researching web sites about retirement life, I concluded that the boomers are just as obsessed with love and sex now, as they were forty years ago.

With the divorce rate still high, many women over 50 are interested in senior dating. The Dating Goddess found herself single at 48. She started dating eighteen months later and has been writing about it ever since. While an excellent writer, she's the 'every woman' self described as attractive but overweight who doesn't match the description of what men say they are looking for.

Dubbed the Dating Goddess by her friends she offers solid advice with a touch of humor and real heart.

When asked what are the mistakes women over 50 make when they start dating, she replied:

They either shoot too high or too low. They shoot too high by having grandiose expectations that their next mate will meet all 100 of their criteria, rather than looking for someone who matches their values and who is attractive to them.

By shooting too low they accept selfish, immature behaviors out of loneliness. They are so desperate to have someone to go to the movies with or cuddle with, they accept loutish behaviors.

You can read the full article at the retirement life matters website.

Wanting love doesn't change as we grow older. Finding help and support along the way is great for anyone.

Healthcare Costs for the Over 50 Looking for Work

We've all heard the stories that one of the reasons older workers don't get hired is because of their higher healthcare costs. Did you know that's a complete myth?

Think about it. The people who spend more time seeing doctors are families with young children. Unless you have a serious ailment, most people in over 50 and into their sixties don't go to the doctor nearly has much as people with young children. My husband and I both get our yearly physicals and that's the only time we see a doctor.

Older people, in their seventies and beyond may have more healthcare costs. If you're looking for a job, don't hesitate to bring up that you are healthy, your children are no longer falling out of trees, so healthcare costs for you may be less than for a younger family.

Senior Health

I did something for myself today. No, not the usual indulgence of chocolates or flowers. I actually did something important. At first, I was reluctant to discuss it, because it comes under the heading that is traditionally considered unmentionable. Life over 50 gets complicated and sometimes we need to discuss unpleasant things.

I had a colonoscopy this morning. The reason I decided to discuss it is many people don’t have the procedure. I’m lucky I have insurance and quite probably wouldn’t have had it done without it. I’m talking to the people who have insurance or can otherwise afford it, but elect not to do the procedure. It’s inconvenient. It’s a bit uncomfortable and it occurs in the part of the body most of us would like to ignore.

That’s the main reason I decided to write about it. Denial can be wonderful thing. Well, sometimes. Rarely. Nope, now that I think about it, I don’t know that denial is a good thing. We get to pretend, but that just postpones reality and when reality actually hits, the ramifications of denial are magnified.

The doctor found a small polyp in my colon. He removed it. There’s a possibility that had I not chosen to have the procedure, it could have grown and in ten years I’d have colon cancer.

As I wrote in a previous post, a friend of mine died of cancer this winter. Cancer is not fun. There is no way we can absolutely prevent all health issues in our life. I can’t be assured that I won’t get some other form of cancer in some other part of my body. There are many things we can do to ensure senior citizens health.

Today I had a procedure that will minimize the probability of getting one form of cancer. If you’re over 55, get it done. It’s as simple as that.

If you have any questions, please feel free to ask me anything. Boundaries are minimal.